1 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,840 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,800 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,880 And they tell my boss Bertold: 4 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:16,080 "Give us Boaz Rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute!" 5 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,360 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,520 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,720 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,400 Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,120 Do you check it out? What do you think happens? 10 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,680 I wake up! - At that point every time? 11 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,080 Exactly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,880 Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,800 And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 14 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,680 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,840 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,720 I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,440 You know, in Lebanon... 18 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,200 What about Lebanon? 19 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,720 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:11,440 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:13,640 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:34,280 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,160 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:45,440 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,640 But why you? 26 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,640 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,320 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,000 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,920 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes... 26 dogs. 30 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,160 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,640 20 years. 32 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,120 Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,160 Therapy, a psychiatrist, Shiatsu, anything... 34 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,920 No, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,800 I'm just a filmmaker! 36 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,120 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,720 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,480 But nothing like this. 39 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,600 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,000 No. Not really. 41 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,400 Are you sure? 42 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,840 No. 43 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,800 Beirut, Sabra and Shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,000 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,840 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,600 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,200 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,320 No. 49 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,520 You'll be okay, huh? 50 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,200 You think so? - Sure. 51 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,720 You 're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 52 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,520 Sure? - Sure. 53 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:14,480 The meeting with Boaz took place in winter, 2006. 54 00:07:14,515 --> 00:07:18,760 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 55 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,440 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 56 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,240 Not just Lebanon, West Beirut. Not just Beirut, 57 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,920 but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. 58 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,920 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 59 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:02,960 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists... 60 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,640 Sometimes that friendship costs them. 61 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,720 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 62 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,840 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 63 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,280 I just don't understand. 64 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:23,000 Why Boaz's dream with the dogs? 65 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,640 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 66 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,760 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment... 67 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:42,920 A group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 68 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,040 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 69 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:54,040 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 70 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,160 Eighty percent recognized themselves... 71 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,600 They recognized the fake photo as real! 72 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,720 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 73 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,360 The researchers asked them again. 74 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,400 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 75 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,080 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 76 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,680 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 77 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,600 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 78 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,920 If some details are missing, 79 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:35,040 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 80 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:43,760 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 81 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:48,320 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 82 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,320 I don't know. Who was there with you? 83 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:55,320 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 84 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,240 And someone else I don't recognize. 85 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,640 So go ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 86 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,240 He's lived there for 20 years. 87 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,080 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 88 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,480 Isn't that dangerous? 89 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,680 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 90 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,360 Not at all. 91 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,800 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 92 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,840 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 93 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,440 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 94 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Memory takes us where we need to go. 95 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,080 See all that? 96 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,440 It's all mine. 97 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,680 All of it? 98 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,040 From those trees to the river. 99 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,680 It all belongs to you. - Yes, and the house. 100 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,640 It's about 10 acres. 101 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,280 All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel. 102 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,280 Wow! - Come and see. 103 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,800 How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 104 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,440 In the early '90s I had a small stand in Utrecht. 105 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,720 Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too... 106 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,880 Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern. 107 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,760 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 108 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,720 Who did? 109 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,040 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 110 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,280 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel prize. 111 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,400 By 20 that future was over. 112 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,080 Cold? 113 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:24,400 Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 114 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,000 We have to talk all that way? 115 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,600 It's funny you've showed up now. 116 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,040 Why. - When you called... 117 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,040 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 118 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:43,000 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 119 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,280 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 120 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,640 Did you? - I don't know. 121 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,480 Let's go inside and warm up. 122 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:57,080 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 123 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,960 No. 124 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,840 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 125 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,840 I'll fetch him. 126 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,960 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 127 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:20,000 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 128 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:25,640 on a little "Love Boat" leased by the army or God knows what. 129 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,440 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 130 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:36,320 What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 131 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:42,160 All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 132 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:48,920 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 133 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:53,480 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 134 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,400 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 135 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,600 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits, 136 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,560 and that I was the only... How can I put it? 137 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,480 The only nerd good at chess and Math 138 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,760 but with masculinity problems. So I had to prove to everyone 139 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,600 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 140 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,920 Did you succeed? 141 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,880 Yes, surprisingly enough. 142 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,040 I felt that I was strong and capable. 143 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:31,840 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat". 144 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,040 Then I.. - You what? 145 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:41,160 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 146 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,400 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 147 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,760 I sleep when I'm scared. 148 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,040 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 149 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,040 Unconscious on the deck, 150 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:43,480 dreaming a woman would come 151 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,920 and take me for the first time, 152 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:58,320 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 153 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480 Where? - On the boat. 154 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,240 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 155 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,120 Which city? - How should I know? 156 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,560 Sidon, I think. 157 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,640 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 158 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,560 At whom? - How do I know? 159 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,320 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 160 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,160 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 161 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,560 Two years of training, and the fear, 162 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,200 the uncontrollable fear... 163 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,680 Then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 164 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,000 At daybreak 165 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:26,080 we could see our destruction, 166 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,160 without knowing where we were. 167 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,720 Lying in the car... 168 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,080 What was in the car? 169 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,880 The bodies of a whole family. 170 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,080 Why did you come here? 171 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:44,240 Me? I... 172 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,040 I lost my memory. 173 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,800 In an accident? - What? 174 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,760 Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 175 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,200 In a car or at work? 176 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,040 No, I didn't have an accident. 177 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,360 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War. 178 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,640 Just one image in my mind. 179 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,240 Somehow you're in it. 180 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,000 What image? 181 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,960 Were you there too? 182 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,480 It's hard to say. 183 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,560 What do you mean? Were you there? 184 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,240 It's hard to say. 185 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,040 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 186 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,360 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 187 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,160 Yes, I remember being there. 188 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,360 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 189 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,400 But the massacre... How did you say it? 190 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,440 That's not stored in my system. 191 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,600 Right. - Massacre... 192 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,840 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam airport... 193 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,840 Suddenly all the memories came back. 194 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,200 Not a hallucination nor my subconscious. 195 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:11,400 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 196 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,840 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side, 197 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:20,000 the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere 198 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,520 at everything, until nightfall. 199 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,120 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 200 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,480 "Load up the dead and wounded. 201 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,240 Go and dump them." 202 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,760 "Dump?" - "Yes, dump." 203 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,400 "Where?" 204 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:47,480 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 205 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,160 That's where they're dumped." 206 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,480 So I drive all the way back. 207 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,240 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 208 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,360 Now I was in command of a tank 209 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,720 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 210 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,000 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 211 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,240 Shoot. - At who? 212 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,240 How do I know? Just shoot. 213 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,160 Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 214 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,120 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 215 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:51,440 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 216 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,840 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 217 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,880 The we turn around and drive off. 218 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,880 On the first day of the war, 219 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,160 I transported the dead and wounded 220 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,440 from tanks on the coast road. 221 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,320 I'm looking for people who were with me. 222 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,800 Could your men have been among them? 223 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:19,160 It sounds logical. We were in the coastal area. 224 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,240 In the western sector It's possible. 225 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,800 Do you recognize me here? 226 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,400 No. 227 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,800 I don't recognize myself either. 228 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,760 Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra, felt like an excursion. 229 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,440 We took photos, 230 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,800 we told jokes... 231 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:01,280 We had time to fool around before going into action. 232 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:08,840 Good morning, Lebanon 233 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:15,640 Good morning, Lebanon 234 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:22,280 Too much pain to carry on 235 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:28,480 Good morning, Lebanon 236 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:34,440 The landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 237 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:40,040 a few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene. 238 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,600 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 239 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:50,480 May your dreams come true 240 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:57,160 May your nightmares pass 241 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:03,120 Your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 242 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,920 In a tank, you always feel really safe. 243 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,680 A tank is a very massive. enclosed vehicle. 244 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,000 Inside the tank, 245 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,680 we were protected. 246 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:25,440 You are torn to pieces 247 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:32,420 You bleed to death in my arms 248 00:27:32,821 --> 00:27:35,840 You bleed to death in my arms 249 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,640 You are the love of my life 250 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:46,360 Oh, my short, short life 251 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:51,800 Tear me to pieces 252 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,200 I'm bleeding... 253 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,960 Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 254 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:06,960 Was he beside you. - Yes. 255 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,760 I saw his head slumped forward. 256 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,520 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 257 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:23,000 The blood was coming from his neck. 258 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,480 You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 259 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,560 But I didn't react immediately. 260 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:37,360 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 261 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,160 Two minutes later, 262 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,520 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically... 263 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,920 without weapons or anything... 264 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,120 Those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 265 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,560 I ran as fast as I could 266 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,520 in zigzags towards the sea. 267 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,080 My only thought. 268 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,720 It's over. I'm done for. 269 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,080 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 270 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,200 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 271 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,560 I hoped he'd get closer. 272 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,600 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 273 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:39,280 I felt abandoned by our forces. 274 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,960 I imagined how my mother would react. 275 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:52,840 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 276 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:57,760 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 277 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,320 Like the firstborn son. 278 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,960 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 279 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,080 I wondered why 280 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,480 they didn't notice me. 281 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,120 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 282 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,800 that everyone was killed in the attack. 283 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,240 I decided to wait until dark. 284 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,920 I had a good place to hide. 285 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,080 I don't know why, but I decided 286 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,800 to crawl out to the sea. 287 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:53,360 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 288 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:59,280 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 289 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,680 How was the sea? 290 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,880 Really calm, no waves. 291 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,640 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 292 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,880 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 293 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,400 But I was still really afraid 294 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,440 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 295 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:39,520 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 296 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:54,640 While swimming through this peaceful water, 297 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,040 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 298 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,160 I felt the water pulsating. 299 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,720 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 300 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,560 My body shook with fear. 301 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,960 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 302 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,960 They might be Israeli forces. 303 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,160 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 304 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,000 I could barely move my limbs. 305 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,640 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 306 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,280 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 307 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:23,560 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 308 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,200 I knew 309 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,080 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 310 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,560 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 311 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,920 After I got back to my regiment, 312 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,520 I felt like... 313 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,240 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 314 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,720 I always felt that they regarded me like... 315 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,720 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 316 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:15,440 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 317 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,760 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 318 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,240 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 319 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:27,080 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 320 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,200 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 321 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,760 Visiting the graves, you felt... - Guilty. 322 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,280 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 323 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:43,280 As if I didn't do enough. 324 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:45,040 I didn't do enough. 325 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:51,240 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 326 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,520 That's not me. I'm not the type. 327 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,240 I bombed Sidon today 328 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:40,240 amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 329 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:45,080 I almost went home in a coffin 330 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,160 I bombed Sidon today 331 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,800 One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely, 332 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,640 the army took the beach from which he had fled. 333 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,720 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 334 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,560 But on the beach we didn't think much about death. 335 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,080 I had a hut of banana leaves. 336 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,240 Thinking back, 337 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:19,960 the smell of Patchouli Oil still makes me nauseous. 338 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:25,880 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate Frenkel, 339 00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:31,600 Patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 340 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,880 Patchouli... How do you use it? 341 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,840 Show me. 342 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:09,000 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 343 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:18,640 This way, 344 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,800 your comrades always know you're there. 345 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,800 I remember my men telling me: 346 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:31,080 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 347 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,760 So what do you do? Patchouli! 348 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,560 In the dark, at night... They couldn't miss me! 349 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:45,040 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 350 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,240 I still use it. 351 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:52,880 I bombed Beirut today 352 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,240 I bombed Beirut every day 353 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:04,120 If I came close to death I couldn't say 354 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,600 I bombed Beirut every day 355 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:13,000 At the pull of a trigger 356 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,840 We can send strangers straight to Hell 357 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:29,640 If I came close to death I couldn't say 358 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,600 I bombed Beirut every day 359 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,960 Our daily routine was this: 360 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,040 Get up in the morning, 361 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:44,480 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 362 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,040 potted beef and eggs. 363 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,720 On the beach. - On the beach. 364 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,120 Take a quick swim, 365 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,240 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 366 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,120 Someone yelled, "Frenkel!" 367 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,280 I noticed a boy holding an RPG. 368 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,120 A kid. 369 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,240 Frenkel, was I there too? 370 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:47,440 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 371 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,960 Even there? - Yes, there too. 372 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,560 Good to know. Of course I was there. 373 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:59,240 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 374 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,280 We call them "dissociative events". 375 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:06,000 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 376 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:10,120 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 377 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,840 I asked him in 1983, "How did you survive through that gruelling war?" 378 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,160 He replied, "It was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip." 379 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,400 He told himself, "Wow! What great scenes: 380 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,680 shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming... 381 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,920 He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 382 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,960 Then something happened. 383 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,080 his 'camera' broke. 384 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,040 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 385 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,880 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 386 00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:10,320 The Hippodrome. 387 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,400 He saw a huge number of carcasses 388 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,640 of slaughtered Arabian horses. 389 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:23,840 "It broke my heart.", he said. What had those horses done 390 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,400 to deserve such suffering?" 391 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,000 He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 392 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,120 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 393 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,840 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 394 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,240 This protected him. 395 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,800 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 396 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,280 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 397 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,200 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 398 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,360 where the boy with the RPG was. 399 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:05,440 Can you remember other things? Like going home 400 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,760 chatting with friends, events from that time, 401 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:13,040 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 402 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,280 Yes, in detail. - For example? 403 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:19,360 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 404 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,920 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 405 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,080 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 406 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:19,520 All children sat with their mothers closed indoors, 407 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:22,360 behind closed blinds in the dark. 408 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:26,000 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 409 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:29,440 No one even dreamed of going outside. 410 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:36,480 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks, 411 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,400 and saw that life was carrying on normally. 412 00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:56,480 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend Yaeli. 413 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,720 She had dumped my the night before all of this started. 414 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,760 Remember how? Add some Sprite... 415 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:25,520 Ready? 416 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:31,680 Bottoms up! 417 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,280 The memories are coming back. 418 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:42,520 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 419 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,840 At which point? - The first day of the war, 420 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,400 the siege on Beirut. 421 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,880 You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before? 422 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:52,920 How do you know? 423 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,400 No, I didn't know that. 424 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,040 It's true. 425 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,760 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 426 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,600 It's OK. I'm not angry. 427 00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:18,840 At least you had your home, your family. 428 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,120 What home? What family? 429 00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,120 You have no idea. 430 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:25,680 My father... 431 00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,720 To comfort me, he told me that in his war, 432 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:33,960 World War II... 433 00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:35,800 Russian soldiers in Stalingrad 434 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,320 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 435 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:53,000 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 436 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,960 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 437 00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:00,680 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 438 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,320 Understand? 439 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:10,120 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 440 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,600 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 441 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:17,200 Back then, a new trend started: car bombs. 442 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,040 Still popular today. 443 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,920 They're a blast! 444 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,240 A real blast! 445 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:30,040 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 446 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,520 Everything is made of gold. 447 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:42,880 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 448 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,280 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 449 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,720 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward." 450 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:55,480 Fast forward. 451 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,920 I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 452 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,880 Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 453 00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:11,920 The big long one. 454 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:16,880 Your pipes are so deep! 455 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:18,480 Fast forward. 456 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,320 Hello. I that your red Mercedes outside? 457 00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,840 I'm busy servicing a customer! 458 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,240 He changes the tape and says: 459 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,600 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 460 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,600 It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 461 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,240 Blow it up first. 462 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,760 Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 463 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,040 Did the Mercedes come? 464 00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:05,960 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 465 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,040 for this impending disaster. 466 00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:49,360 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 467 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:52,120 Bashir is dead. 468 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:54,680 Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel, 469 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,320 the elected president of Lebanon. 470 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:02,200 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 471 00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:06,800 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 472 00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:10,520 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 473 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,720 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 474 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,800 Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before. 475 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,000 Death would be my revenge. 476 00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,160 She would be ridden with guilt 477 00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,440 for the rest of her life. 478 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,080 While fantasizing about my death. 479 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,160 we approach Beirut. 480 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,840 A city with hotels. beaches. 481 00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:41,120 and people scurrying about. 482 00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,280 We land at the international airport. 483 00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:49,760 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from Air France, TWA, 484 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,000 and British Airways. 485 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,880 I was excited Like I was going on a trip abroad, 486 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,800 excited all over. 487 00:52:06,240 --> 00:52:08,280 At some point I simply take off 488 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:10,720 and walk into the terminal 489 00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:14,480 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 490 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:18,600 a sort of hallucination 491 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,720 Like standing in a terminal 492 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,840 waiting to choose my destination 493 00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:27,320 Before that '80s departures board, 494 00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:30,960 the choice is all mine 495 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,120 I see the 14:10 to London. 496 00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,480 the 15:20 to Paris, 497 00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,680 the 16:00 to New York... 498 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:44,280 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 499 00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,360 jewellery, tobacco, 500 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:48,800 alcohol... 501 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:53,280 While I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 502 00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,040 Through the window I see 503 00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:02,040 that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed-out shells. 504 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,200 And the stops are empty, 505 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,160 they've long since been looted. 506 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:12,160 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 507 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,040 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 508 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:20,840 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 509 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,800 Slowly I begin to realize where I am 510 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,960 and I am afraid of what will happen next. 511 00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:34,440 We start walking from the airport to the city. 512 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,040 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 513 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,080 The sea is at our side. 514 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:53,920 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 515 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:59,800 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 516 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:06,200 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 517 00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:11,160 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 518 00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:13,400 We were scared to death. 519 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,720 Then, in the middle of this hell. 520 00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:32,520 that TV correspondent Ron Ben-Yishai suddenly shows up. 521 00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:38,040 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 522 00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:42,440 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong. while bullets whiz past him. 523 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:52,120 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 524 00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,200 It was a large junction. 525 00:54:55,600 --> 00:55:01,240 One lane led directly into Hamra street. 526 00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,880 to the West Beirut district of Hamra. 527 00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:09,040 I remember the sizzling sound a sort of hissing noise... 528 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:13,960 They were firing masses of RPGs, and it sounded 529 00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,320 like a Native American arrow-shooting range. 530 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:20,040 Before an RPG explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 531 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,680 You don't hear an explosion, 532 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,280 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 533 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,760 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 534 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:37,880 women, children, 535 00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:42,320 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 536 00:55:55,160 --> 00:56:00,200 They are shooting at us from all directions. 537 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,400 And we can't get across. 538 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:12,640 Throughout my military service I was a MAG shooter. 539 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,400 During my officer's training, I thought, 540 00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:19,400 "You've used a MAG for so long, why not try something else?" 541 00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:20,880 So they gave me a Galil. 542 00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:27,360 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 543 00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:32,720 I realize that I can't shoot with the Galil like I could before. 544 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:38,000 I missed the good old MAG that I was familiar with. 545 00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:42,080 So I say to Erez, "Erez, do me a favour. 546 00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:48,880 Give me your MAG. I won't make it across with the Galil. 547 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:52,280 Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street. 548 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:53,680 I'll shoot better." 549 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,960 He says' "Frenkel, are you nuts? 550 00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:02,800 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 551 00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,960 I finally realize that I must 552 00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,200 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 553 00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:17,680 "Listen, Erez, give me the MAG, or I'll take it by force!" 554 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,720 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 555 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,280 there was Frenkel at the junction 556 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,840 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 557 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,880 Instead of crossing the junction, 558 00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:56,200 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 559 00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,960 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 560 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:05,800 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 561 00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,840 with the posters of Bashir above his head. 562 00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:12,440 And Bashir's followers 563 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,760 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 564 00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:18,640 The Sabra and Shatila massacre. 565 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:31,720 I'm starting to remember. 566 00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,280 I've met people, I've heard stories... 567 00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:37,600 Stories about myself. 568 00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:40,367 I didn't want to believe them. 569 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,680 So what can't you remember? 570 00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:50,000 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 571 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,160 I don't understand why people were so surprised 572 00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:58,400 that the Phalangists carried out the massacre. 573 00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,480 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 574 00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,760 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 575 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:13,640 Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 576 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:19,040 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 577 00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,960 It was like being on an LSD trip. 578 00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,400 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 579 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,000 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 580 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:41,800 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 581 00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,960 And always pictures of Bashir. 582 00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,920 Bashir pendants, Bashir watches, Bashir this, Bashir that... 583 00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:59,960 Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me. 584 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:04,680 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 585 01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:08,480 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 586 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:10,760 Totally erotic. 587 01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:16,560 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 588 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,600 The next day he was murdered. 589 01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,480 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 590 01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,360 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 591 01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,960 This was about family honour, which runs deep. 592 01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:35,600 Why did you come back? 593 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:40,960 I m still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 594 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,320 And you're there with me. 595 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,080 You're crazy. 596 01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,600 You're obsessed. 597 01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:31,400 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 598 01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:33,760 What beach? 599 01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,920 I've reached a dead end. 600 01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:51,440 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 601 01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,000 No one who was with me 602 01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:59,960 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 603 01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,360 I only have this one vision. 604 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:09,120 And Carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 605 01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,760 It's still real. - It's a vision. 606 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:15,000 But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 607 01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:19,880 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 608 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:25,160 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 609 01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:27,120 That doesn't help me much. 610 01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:40,680 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 611 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,840 Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 612 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,560 Auschwitz? - Yes. 613 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:49,440 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 614 01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:52,840 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 615 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:57,520 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 616 01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,640 in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people. 617 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,840 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 618 01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:08,280 Get details and more details. That way... 619 01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:14,080 Then maybe you can find out where you were exactly, 620 01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,400 and what role you played. 621 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:29,920 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 622 01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:33,960 It was actually on a hill. This hill 623 01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:38,120 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 624 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:43,800 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 625 01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,760 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 626 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,960 and retaliate. 627 01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,200 The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive. 628 01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,680 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 629 01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,440 took position behind tanks. 630 01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:08,000 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 631 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:12,720 What was it a out? - They told us that the Christians 632 01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:16,440 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 633 01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:20,200 Once they had purged the camps, 634 01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:22,680 we would seize control. 635 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,840 Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists. 636 01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:18,240 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 637 01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:29,840 The civilians were led out of the camps 638 01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:33,800 in a long line. 639 01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:37,720 The Phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 640 01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:40,400 and occasionally firing into the air. 641 01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,200 There were women, old people, 642 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:48,120 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 643 01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:56,200 From inside in the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 644 01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:58,440 Did you think about it? 645 01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,840 Not really, because wherever we went, 646 01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:05,000 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 647 01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:10,880 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 648 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:16,520 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 649 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,080 "If you don't want to get hurt, then come out!" 650 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,280 On that day I drove to Docha, a city on the coast. 651 01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:51,720 It had an Israel Defense Forces landing field. 652 01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:53,720 On the way, 653 01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:57,280 many Phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 654 01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:03,240 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 655 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:07,800 At the airfield, I met a Colonel friend. 656 01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,400 He told me, 657 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,440 Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 658 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:17,320 He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila. 659 01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:20,320 "What's happening?", I asked. 660 01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:26,360 I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 661 01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:33,000 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 662 01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:37,960 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 663 01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:43,120 There were wounded, some in critical condition. 664 01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:46,560 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 665 01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:59,120 We saw a Phalangist soldier 666 01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,600 taking an old man away. 667 01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:07,880 At some point we heard shots. 668 01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,480 We heard shots. 669 01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:14,400 Then the soldier came out alone. 670 01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:18,040 We asked him what happened. 671 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:25,200 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "Boom!" 672 01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:29,760 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 673 01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:33,120 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 674 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:35,320 he shot him in the stomach and head. 675 01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:49,325 Didn't you ever realize 676 01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:58,400 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 677 01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:02,400 Yes, of course. 678 01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:08,360 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 679 01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:10,920 From the top of their tanks, 680 01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:16,040 they started shouting, "They are shooting people!" 681 01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:31,960 They claim that people were lined up against the wall and shot. 682 01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:37,000 So I called my commanding officer. 683 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:41,480 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 684 01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:47,120 He said, "We know about it. It s under control. We reported it." 685 01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:51,680 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 686 01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:56,080 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 687 01:09:56,640 --> 01:10:00,680 About yards away. On top of a very tall building. 688 01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:04,880 How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 689 01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:08,400 They surely had a better view than I did. 690 01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:37,440 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 691 01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:41,240 to my place in Bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 692 01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:46,400 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 693 01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:53,400 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade. 694 01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:58,000 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 695 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:01,440 He said: "Ron, 696 01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:07,120 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 697 01:11:07,660 --> 01:11:11,040 He mentioned one or two incidents, 698 01:11:11,460 --> 01:11:13,640 saying a family was seen shot. 699 01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:17,360 I asked him again, "Did you see it yourself?" 700 01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,200 "I didn't", he said, but my soldiers told me about it. 701 01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:27,280 The officers sitting here did, too." We talked about it over dinner later. 702 01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:32,080 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 703 01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:37,120 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned Defense Minister Ariel Sharon. 704 01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:40,720 At his ranch. 705 01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:44,640 Ariel was half asleep. 706 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:50,800 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, Ariel. 707 01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:56,320 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 708 01:11:59,240 --> 01:12:00,360 He asked me, "Did you see it yourself?" 709 01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:07,880 "No", I said, "but there are several witnesses who saw it." 710 01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:09,760 "Okay", he said. 711 01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:13,240 "Thanks for bringing it to my attention." That was all. 712 01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:17,600 You'd normally say, "I'll check it out, I'll look into it." But no! 713 01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:23,120 He said, "Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy New Year!" 714 01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:26,880 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 715 01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,160 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 716 01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:33,920 it was carried out by Christian Phalangists. 717 01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:40,520 All around were several circles of our soldiers 718 01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,280 Every circle had some information. 719 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,480 The first one had the most. However, 720 01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:50,400 the penny didn't drop. 721 01:12:50,760 --> 01:12:53,280 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 722 01:12:53,640 --> 01:12:54,960 What circle were you in? 723 01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,800 In the second or third. 724 01:12:58,160 --> 01:13:01,120 What did you do? 725 01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:06,480 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 726 01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:10,480 With what? - Flares. 727 01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:14,760 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 728 01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:22,680 Did you fire the flares? 729 01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:24,360 Is that important? 730 01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:28,000 Does it make any difference if I fired them 731 01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,360 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 732 01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:37,840 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 733 01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:41,960 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 734 01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:46,640 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 735 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,840 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 736 01:13:50,200 --> 01:13:52,440 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 737 01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:57,080 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 738 01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:16,560 I woke up at 5 or 5:30, and I woke everyone up, 739 01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,520 the whole team. 740 01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:23,000 Then I drove to Sabra and Shatila. 741 01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:26,000 When I arrived there... 742 01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,160 What a mess! 743 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:34,640 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 744 01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:39,720 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 745 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:44,000 That's just how the long line of women, 746 01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:47,760 old people and children looked. 747 01:14:47,795 --> 01:14:50,680 I thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters, 748 01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:55,800 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 749 01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,000 He drove to the head of the convoy. 750 01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:02,360 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 751 01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:06,040 And that was the end of it. 752 01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:37,400 The Phalangists withdrew back up the street. 753 01:15:37,760 --> 01:15:42,200 The women and children returned to the camp. 754 01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:44,880 The Palestinians? - Yes. 755 01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:56,680 I said to my men, "We're going in with them... 756 01:15:57,040 --> 01:15:58,760 With those women and children. 757 01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:04,000 We'll see what happened in there." 758 01:16:04,360 --> 01:16:07,200 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 759 01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:09,520 My eye caught 760 01:16:09,880 --> 01:16:11,920 a hand, a small hand. 761 01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:17,760 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 762 01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:22,960 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 763 01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:29,800 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 764 01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:35,920 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 765 01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:39,360 A hand and a head. 766 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,400 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 767 01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:47,360 And she had curly hair, too. 768 01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:56,000 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 769 01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:59,200 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 770 01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:02,520 The young men had been shot first. 771 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:06,120 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 772 01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:11,080 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley... 773 01:17:11,440 --> 01:17:14,320 the width of a man and a half. 774 01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,760 That alley was full... 775 01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:23,320 Piled up to the height of a man's chest 776 01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:25,720 with the bodies of young men. 777 01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:30,920 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.