1 00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:29,235 Mother... shittin'... 2 00:02:29,318 --> 00:02:30,736 son of a... 3 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,738 Ass! Ooh! 4 00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:34,198 I just... 5 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,539 I was told... 6 00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,207 Have you seen... I was told that if... 7 00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:46,210 I was late again I would be summarily dismissed. 8 00:03:35,885 --> 00:03:37,595 Mmm. No, no. 9 00:03:54,069 --> 00:03:55,529 Just a moment. 10 00:03:56,864 --> 00:03:59,366 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 11 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:00,743 Just a moment. 12 00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:04,330 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 13 00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:05,831 Just a moment. 14 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,169 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 15 00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:11,587 Just a moment. 16 00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:14,673 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 17 00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:17,009 Just a moment. 18 00:04:17,092 --> 00:04:19,094 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 19 00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:22,223 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 20 00:04:22,306 --> 00:04:25,434 Ahh... we have sort of a problem here. 21 00:04:25,518 --> 00:04:27,937 Yeah. You apparently didn't put... 22 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,356 one of the new cover sheets on your T.P.S. reports. 23 00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:34,276 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. I... I forgot. 24 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,195 Mmm... yeah. 25 00:04:36,278 --> 00:04:37,738 You see, we're putting the cover sheets... 26 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:40,699 on all T.P.S. reports now before they go out. 27 00:04:40,783 --> 00:04:43,536 Did you see the memo about this? 28 00:04:43,619 --> 00:04:46,872 Yeah. Yeah, I have the memo right here. 29 00:04:46,956 --> 00:04:48,374 I just, uh, forgot... 30 00:04:48,457 --> 00:04:50,835 but, uh, it's not shipping out till tomorrow... 31 00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:52,336 so there's no problem. 32 00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:54,171 Yeah. 33 00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:55,631 If you could just go ahead and make sure... 34 00:04:55,714 --> 00:04:58,884 you do that from now on, that would be great... 35 00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:00,886 and, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure... 36 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,097 you get another copy of that memo, OK? 37 00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:06,183 No. I have the memo. I've got it... It's right... 38 00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,853 Hello, Phil. What's happening? 39 00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:10,020 Um... 40 00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:13,148 I came by here yesterday... 41 00:05:13,232 --> 00:05:16,068 Four teams out on the Spanish point... 42 00:05:16,151 --> 00:05:18,320 discovered a shipwreck off the coast... 43 00:05:18,404 --> 00:05:19,572 Milton? 44 00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:21,740 Hi. Uh... 45 00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:23,826 could you turn that down just a little bit? 46 00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:26,120 But I was told that I could listen... 47 00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:28,831 to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 11:00. 48 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,417 Yeah. I know you're allowed to. 49 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,879 I was just thinkin' maybe like a personal favor. 50 00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:38,591 Well, I... I... I told Bill if Sandra's going to... 51 00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:42,094 listen to her headphones while she's filing... 52 00:05:42,178 --> 00:05:43,762 then I should be able to listen to the radio... 53 00:05:43,846 --> 00:05:45,264 while I'm collating... 54 00:05:45,347 --> 00:05:47,349 so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio. 55 00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,517 Yeah. All right. OK. 56 00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,728 I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume... 57 00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:51,896 Thanks. 58 00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:53,314 from 9:00 to 11:00. 59 00:05:53,397 --> 00:05:54,815 Hi, Peter. 60 00:05:54,899 --> 00:05:56,859 What's happening? 61 00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:59,445 We need to talk about your T.P.S. reports. 62 00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:01,864 Yeah. The cover sheet. I know. I know. 63 00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:03,032 Bill talked to me about it. 64 00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:05,659 Yeah. Did you get that memo? 65 00:06:05,743 --> 00:06:07,995 Yeah, I got the memo, and I understand the policy... 66 00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:10,664 and the problem is just that I forgot the one time... 67 00:06:10,748 --> 00:06:12,583 and I've already taken care of it... 68 00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,376 so it's not even really a problem anymore. 69 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:17,254 Ah! Yeah. 70 00:06:17,338 --> 00:06:18,839 It's just we're putting new cover sheets... 71 00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:21,342 on all the T.P.S. reports before they go out now... 72 00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,802 so if you could go ahead and try to remember... 73 00:06:23,886 --> 00:06:26,472 to do that from now on, that'd be great. 74 00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:27,723 All right! 75 00:06:32,478 --> 00:06:34,313 Just a moment. 76 00:06:35,731 --> 00:06:38,192 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 77 00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:39,485 Peter Gibbons. 78 00:06:40,569 --> 00:06:41,654 Yes. 79 00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,614 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 80 00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:44,782 Just a moment. 81 00:06:44,865 --> 00:06:46,283 I have the memo. 82 00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:50,120 No. Not again. I... 83 00:06:50,204 --> 00:06:52,498 Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? 84 00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:54,542 I swear to God, one of these days... 85 00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:57,670 I just kick this piece of shit out the window. 86 00:06:57,753 --> 00:06:59,672 You and me both, man. 87 00:06:59,755 --> 00:07:00,965 That thing is lucky I'm not armed. 88 00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:04,426 Piece of shit. 89 00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,387 "Samir... 90 00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:08,973 "Na-Na... 91 00:07:09,056 --> 00:07:10,808 "Na-Naga..." 92 00:07:10,891 --> 00:07:12,643 - No. Thanks. - Unh-huh! 93 00:07:12,726 --> 00:07:13,978 Please. 94 00:07:14,061 --> 00:07:17,147 "Michael... Bolton"? 95 00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:18,399 That's me. 96 00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:20,568 Wow! Is that your real name? 97 00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:22,069 Yeah. Ahem. 98 00:07:22,695 --> 00:07:24,905 So are you related to that singer guy? 99 00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,782 No. It's just a coincidence. 100 00:07:26,866 --> 00:07:28,033 Oh. 101 00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:32,746 No one in this country can pronounce my name right. 102 00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:34,957 It's not that hard. 103 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,168 "Na-ee" and then "anajaad." Nayanajaad. 104 00:07:37,251 --> 00:07:39,253 At least your name isn't Michael Bolton. 105 00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:42,131 You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. 106 00:07:42,214 --> 00:07:44,133 There was nothing wrong with it... 107 00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:45,885 until I was about twelve years old... 108 00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:48,179 and that no-talent ass clown became famous... 109 00:07:48,262 --> 00:07:49,388 and started winning Grammys. 110 00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:50,556 Hmm. 111 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:54,643 Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? 112 00:07:54,727 --> 00:07:56,896 Why should I change? He's the one who sucks. 113 00:07:57,229 --> 00:07:58,314 Hey, guys. 114 00:07:58,397 --> 00:07:59,982 What's up, G? 115 00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,984 Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee? 116 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,569 Oh, it's a little early. 117 00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:06,030 I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. 118 00:08:06,113 --> 00:08:07,198 Uh-oh. 119 00:08:07,281 --> 00:08:10,117 Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. 120 00:08:14,997 --> 00:08:17,166 Boy, I tell ya, some days. 121 00:08:17,249 --> 00:08:19,251 One of these days, it's just gonna be like... 122 00:08:22,129 --> 00:08:23,255 Heh heh heh! 123 00:08:23,339 --> 00:08:25,257 So, can I get you gentlemen something more to drink... 124 00:08:25,341 --> 00:08:26,425 or maybe something to nibble on... 125 00:08:26,509 --> 00:08:29,011 some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers, or extreme fajitas? 126 00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:31,055 - Just coffee. - OK! 127 00:08:31,138 --> 00:08:32,973 Sounds like a case of the Mondays. 128 00:08:37,895 --> 00:08:41,815 What if we're still doin' this when we're fifty? 129 00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:44,568 It would be nice to have that kind of job security. 130 00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,820 Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. 131 00:08:46,904 --> 00:08:48,822 I can tell already. 132 00:08:48,906 --> 00:08:50,991 I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... 133 00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:52,868 because I'm a big pussy... 134 00:08:52,952 --> 00:08:54,995 which is why I work at Initech to begin with. 135 00:08:55,079 --> 00:08:56,705 Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech... 136 00:08:56,789 --> 00:08:58,833 and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK? 137 00:08:58,916 --> 00:09:01,252 Yes. I am also not a pussy. 138 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,462 They're gonna find out the hard way I'm not a pussy... 139 00:09:03,546 --> 00:09:05,172 if they don't start treating their software people better. 140 00:09:05,256 --> 00:09:06,799 That's right. 141 00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:08,467 They don't understand. 142 00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:10,636 I could program a virus that'd rip that place off big time. 143 00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:12,263 Yeah. 144 00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,514 Big time. 145 00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:16,475 Whoa! 146 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:17,726 There she is. 147 00:09:18,811 --> 00:09:21,397 Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl. 148 00:09:22,231 --> 00:09:24,483 If you're so obsessed with her, why don't you just ask her out? 149 00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:25,734 Oh, I can't do that. 150 00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:27,987 I'm just another asshole customer. 151 00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:30,614 You can't just walk up to a waitress and ask her out. 152 00:09:30,698 --> 00:09:32,741 Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne. 153 00:09:33,576 --> 00:09:36,495 Oh, that reminds me. I can't play poker on Friday. 154 00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,913 Why not? 155 00:09:37,997 --> 00:09:42,001 I'm gonna see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. 156 00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,420 Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? 157 00:09:44,503 --> 00:09:46,881 I know. Anne wants me to go. 158 00:09:46,964 --> 00:09:48,257 She thinks it might help. 159 00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:50,926 Um... 160 00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:53,387 You know, sometimes I think that... 161 00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,973 I get thinking that she's cheating on me. 162 00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:57,474 Yeah. I know what you mean. 163 00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:59,059 Yeah. 164 00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:01,437 What is that supposed to mean? 165 00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:03,939 Nothing. 166 00:10:04,982 --> 00:10:07,151 Why don't you just tell Anne that you're not into hypnosis... 167 00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:08,319 and you wanna play poker with us? 168 00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:09,987 I can't do that. She'll get all pissed off... 169 00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:14,408 and, besides, I think the guy might actually be able to help. 170 00:10:14,491 --> 00:10:16,076 I mean, he did help Anne lose weight. 171 00:10:16,952 --> 00:10:18,329 Peter, she's anorexic. 172 00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:20,164 Yeah, I know. 173 00:10:20,247 --> 00:10:21,582 The guy's really good. 174 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,252 Yeah, well, I don't think any occupational hypnotherapist... 175 00:10:25,336 --> 00:10:27,004 is gonna help you solve any of your problems. 176 00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:28,839 Hey, and speaking of problems... 177 00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:30,382 what's this I hear about you having problems... 178 00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:31,675 with your T.P.S. reports? 179 00:10:31,759 --> 00:10:34,136 Yeah. Didn't you get that memo? 180 00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:38,349 Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! 181 00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:40,059 Is that Smykowski? 182 00:10:40,893 --> 00:10:42,061 - Samir! - What's he doing? 183 00:10:42,144 --> 00:10:43,812 Oh, probably workin' on another heart attack. 184 00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,648 I've been lookin' all over for you guys! 185 00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:48,484 Have you seen this? I knew it. I knew it. 186 00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,194 What? It's a staff meeting. So what? 187 00:10:50,277 --> 00:10:52,821 So what? We're all screwed. That's what. 188 00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,532 They're gonna downsize Initech. 189 00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:56,825 What are you talking about? How do you know that? 190 00:10:56,909 --> 00:10:59,161 How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant. 191 00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:00,329 That's how I know. 192 00:11:00,412 --> 00:11:02,122 That's what this staff meeting's all about. 193 00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,999 It happened at Initrode last year. 194 00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,835 You have to interview with this consultant. 195 00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:07,670 They call them efficiency experts... 196 00:11:07,753 --> 00:11:08,879 but what you're really doing... 197 00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,339 is interviewing for your own job. 198 00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:11,715 Every week you say you're gonna lose your job... 199 00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:12,967 and you're still here. 200 00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,427 Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. 201 00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:17,638 The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office... 202 00:11:17,721 --> 00:11:19,765 and stand in line with those scumbags... 203 00:11:19,849 --> 00:11:21,225 Shit. 204 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,228 You know there are people in this world... 205 00:11:24,311 --> 00:11:26,730 that don't have to put up with all this shit? 206 00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:28,983 Like that guy that invented the pet rock. 207 00:11:29,817 --> 00:11:32,236 You see, that's what you have to do. 208 00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:35,155 You have to use your mind... 209 00:11:35,239 --> 00:11:37,324 and come up with some really great idea like that... 210 00:11:37,408 --> 00:11:39,702 and you can make millions... never have to work again. 211 00:11:39,785 --> 00:11:41,912 You think the pet rock was a really great idea? 212 00:11:41,996 --> 00:11:43,831 Sure it was. 213 00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:46,041 The guy made a million dollars. 214 00:11:48,627 --> 00:11:51,380 You know, I had an idea like that once... 215 00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,923 a long time ago. 216 00:11:54,091 --> 00:11:55,551 Really? What was it, Tom? 217 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,137 Well, all right. 218 00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:02,224 It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. 219 00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:06,103 You see, it would be this mat... 220 00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:08,355 that you would put on the floor... 221 00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:12,651 and it would have different conclusions written on it... 222 00:12:12,735 --> 00:12:15,029 that you could jump to. 223 00:12:20,075 --> 00:12:22,328 That is the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom. 224 00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:26,123 Yes. Yes, it's horrible, this idea. 225 00:12:28,584 --> 00:12:30,169 Uh, look... 226 00:12:30,252 --> 00:12:31,587 I gotta get outta here. 227 00:12:32,421 --> 00:12:33,422 I'll see you guys later... 228 00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,424 if I still have a job. 229 00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:37,343 Yeah. 230 00:12:37,426 --> 00:12:39,220 Our high school guidance counselor... 231 00:12:39,303 --> 00:12:41,639 used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars... 232 00:12:41,722 --> 00:12:42,806 didn't have to work... 233 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:46,101 and whatever you'd say was supposed to be your career. 234 00:12:46,185 --> 00:12:47,645 So if you wanted to fix old cars... 235 00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:49,480 then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. 236 00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:50,648 So what did you say? 237 00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:52,608 I never had an answer. 238 00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,319 I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. 239 00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:56,862 No. You're working at Initech... 240 00:12:56,946 --> 00:12:59,031 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. 241 00:12:59,114 --> 00:13:00,741 If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... 242 00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:03,160 because no one would clean shit if they had a million dollars. 243 00:13:03,244 --> 00:13:05,621 You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? 244 00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:08,833 I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds... 245 00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:11,335 and then take the other half to my friend Asadulah... 246 00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:12,503 who works in securities... 247 00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:14,713 Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. 248 00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:16,382 The point of the exercise is you're supposed to figure out... 249 00:13:16,465 --> 00:13:18,926 what you would want to do if... 250 00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:22,930 "PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean? 251 00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:47,872 Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel nine! 252 00:13:47,955 --> 00:13:49,165 Check out this chick! 253 00:13:49,248 --> 00:13:51,667 Damn it! Lawrence, can't you just pretend... 254 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,711 like we can't hear each other through the wall? 255 00:13:53,794 --> 00:13:56,046 Oh, sorry, man! Anne over there or somethin'? 256 00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:57,298 No, but... 257 00:13:58,257 --> 00:14:00,843 If you want to talk to me, just come over. 258 00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:07,266 Hey, man, check this out, dude. 259 00:14:09,602 --> 00:14:12,104 The key is early detection. 260 00:14:12,188 --> 00:14:13,272 Tumors that are detected... 261 00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,316 Aw, jeez, Lawrence. 262 00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,151 Sorry, man. I thought you'd want to see this. 263 00:14:18,277 --> 00:14:19,653 Doesn't that chick look like Anne? 264 00:14:19,737 --> 00:14:21,322 Yeah. 265 00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:22,615 A little bit. I... 266 00:14:22,698 --> 00:14:24,491 Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. 267 00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:25,951 You two still goin' out? 268 00:14:26,035 --> 00:14:27,661 Yeah. 269 00:14:27,745 --> 00:14:29,246 I guess. I... I don't know. 270 00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:31,624 Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. 271 00:14:31,707 --> 00:14:33,876 Yeah. I get that feeling, too, man. 272 00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:36,795 What do you mean by that? 273 00:14:36,879 --> 00:14:38,422 I don't know, man. 274 00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:41,467 I just get that feeling lookin' at her, like... 275 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,886 she's the type of chick that just... 276 00:14:44,887 --> 00:14:46,055 Uhh. 277 00:14:48,974 --> 00:14:51,143 Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, I... I... 278 00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,270 You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass. 279 00:14:53,354 --> 00:14:54,688 Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right. 280 00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:56,482 Just... I had a rough day. 281 00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:58,192 Tell me about it, man. 282 00:14:58,275 --> 00:14:59,735 Ohh... 283 00:15:00,819 --> 00:15:02,571 Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up... 284 00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:05,658 at six A.M.. every day this week... 285 00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:07,868 drag up to Las Golindas. 286 00:15:07,952 --> 00:15:10,746 I'm doin' the drywall up there at the new McDonald's. 287 00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:12,540 Let me ask you something. 288 00:15:13,874 --> 00:15:16,126 When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well... 289 00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,336 does anyone ever say to you... 290 00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:19,922 "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"? 291 00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:22,716 No. 292 00:15:23,551 --> 00:15:24,969 No, man. 293 00:15:26,262 --> 00:15:27,638 Shit, no, man. 294 00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:30,307 You'd get your ass kicked, sayin' something like that, man. 295 00:15:30,391 --> 00:15:31,976 Huh. 296 00:15:32,059 --> 00:15:33,477 We still goin' fishin' this weekend? 297 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:35,646 Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday. 298 00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:36,814 I just know it. 299 00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:38,315 Well, you can get out of that easily. 300 00:15:38,399 --> 00:15:40,442 Yeah? How? 301 00:15:40,526 --> 00:15:41,694 Well... 302 00:15:42,403 --> 00:15:44,154 when a boss wants you to work on Saturday... 303 00:15:44,238 --> 00:15:47,199 he generally asks you at the end of the day, right? 304 00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:48,367 Yeah. 305 00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,452 So all you gotta do is avoid him... that's all right... 306 00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:52,746 I got it... on the last few hours on Friday... 307 00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:54,665 duck out early... 308 00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:56,333 turn off your answering machine... 309 00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:58,085 you should be home free, man. 310 00:16:00,546 --> 00:16:02,214 That's a really good idea. 311 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,258 Fuckin' "A," man. 312 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:09,847 Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars? 313 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:11,849 I'll tell you what I'd do, man. 314 00:16:13,017 --> 00:16:15,186 Two chicks at the same time, man. 315 00:16:19,607 --> 00:16:21,108 That's it? 316 00:16:21,192 --> 00:16:22,359 If you had a million dollars... 317 00:16:22,443 --> 00:16:24,486 you'd do two chicks at the same time? 318 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:27,323 Damn straight. I've always wanted to do that, man. 319 00:16:27,406 --> 00:16:30,159 I think if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up, too... 320 00:16:30,242 --> 00:16:31,994 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. 321 00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:33,454 Well, not all chicks. 322 00:16:33,537 --> 00:16:36,290 The type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. 323 00:16:36,373 --> 00:16:37,500 Good point. 324 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:39,502 What about you, now? What would you do? 325 00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:40,961 Besides two chicks at the same time? 326 00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:42,213 Well, yeah. 327 00:16:42,296 --> 00:16:43,839 Nothing. 328 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,925 Nothin', huh? 329 00:16:46,008 --> 00:16:48,177 I would relax. 330 00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,429 I would sit on my ass all day. 331 00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:53,682 I would do nothing. 332 00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:56,352 You don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. 333 00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:57,895 Take a look at my cousin. 334 00:16:57,978 --> 00:17:00,064 He's broke, don't do shit. 335 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,861 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 336 00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:07,363 Just a moment. 337 00:17:07,446 --> 00:17:09,865 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 338 00:17:09,949 --> 00:17:11,825 Just a moment. 339 00:17:11,909 --> 00:17:14,161 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 340 00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,830 Just a moment. 341 00:17:16,747 --> 00:17:18,499 So, you should ask yourself... 342 00:17:18,582 --> 00:17:21,126 with every decision you make... 343 00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,337 "Is this good for the company? 344 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,047 "Am I helping with..." 345 00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,632 Is that the guy? 346 00:17:26,715 --> 00:17:28,843 Yeah. We're screwed. 347 00:17:28,926 --> 00:17:31,554 OK, then, um... 348 00:17:32,429 --> 00:17:35,057 I'd like to go ahead and welcome, uh... 349 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,476 a new member to our team here. 350 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,894 This is, uh... 351 00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,480 Bob Slydell. 352 00:17:43,107 --> 00:17:45,025 Yeah. Uh... 353 00:17:45,109 --> 00:17:47,528 Bob is a consultant. 354 00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:51,198 Yeah. He's gonna be sort of, uh... 355 00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:53,826 helping us out... 356 00:17:53,909 --> 00:17:55,327 a little here... 357 00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:56,829 asking some questions... 358 00:17:56,912 --> 00:17:58,372 maybe seeing if there are some ways... 359 00:17:58,455 --> 00:18:01,167 we can make things run a little more smoothly... 360 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:02,418 around here. 361 00:18:03,502 --> 00:18:05,254 Yeah. 362 00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:07,631 Oh, and remember, next Friday... 363 00:18:07,715 --> 00:18:10,050 is Hawaiian shirt day. 364 00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:15,639 So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and, uh... 365 00:18:15,723 --> 00:18:17,308 wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. 366 00:18:18,517 --> 00:18:21,187 And I said I don't care if they lay me off, either. 367 00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:22,479 Because I told Bill... 368 00:18:22,563 --> 00:18:24,982 that if they move my desk one more time... 369 00:18:25,065 --> 00:18:27,818 then I'm... I'm quitting. I'm going to quit... 370 00:18:27,902 --> 00:18:29,361 and I told Dom, too... 371 00:18:29,445 --> 00:18:32,656 because they've moved my desk four times already this year... 372 00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,909 and I used to be over by the window... 373 00:18:34,992 --> 00:18:38,204 and I could see the squirrels, and they were married... 374 00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:40,498 but then they switched from the Swingline... 375 00:18:40,581 --> 00:18:43,000 to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler... 376 00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,002 because it didn't bind up as much... 377 00:18:45,085 --> 00:18:47,630 and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. 378 00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:48,797 OK, Milton. 379 00:18:48,881 --> 00:18:50,966 No, it's not OK, because if they make me... 380 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:54,470 If they take my stapler, then I'll... I'll... I'll... 381 00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:56,805 I'll set the building on fire. 382 00:18:56,889 --> 00:18:59,141 OK, well, that sounds great. 383 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,976 Uh, I'll talk to you later, all right? Bye. 384 00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:02,228 Peter... 385 00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:19,411 Good-bye. 386 00:19:41,851 --> 00:19:43,227 Come on. 387 00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:47,356 Oh, for cryin'... 388 00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:11,589 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 389 00:20:11,672 --> 00:20:13,299 Um... 390 00:20:13,382 --> 00:20:15,301 I'm gonna need you... 391 00:20:15,384 --> 00:20:17,219 to go ahead and come in tomorrow... 392 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:21,432 so if you could be here around... 393 00:20:21,515 --> 00:20:23,976 nine, that would be great. 394 00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:25,269 OK? 395 00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:28,981 Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. 396 00:20:29,064 --> 00:20:30,816 Um... 397 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,652 I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in... 398 00:20:33,736 --> 00:20:36,280 on Sunday, too, OK? 399 00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:37,990 We, um... 400 00:20:38,073 --> 00:20:39,825 lost some people this week... 401 00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:41,994 and, uh... 402 00:20:42,077 --> 00:20:44,079 we need to sort of play catch-up. 403 00:20:44,163 --> 00:20:45,414 Thanks. 404 00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:50,961 So I was sitting in my cubicle today... 405 00:20:51,045 --> 00:20:55,049 and I realized, ever since I started working, um... 406 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,802 every single day of my life has been worse than... 407 00:20:58,886 --> 00:21:00,596 the day before it. 408 00:21:01,555 --> 00:21:05,267 So that means that every single day that you see me... 409 00:21:06,227 --> 00:21:08,103 that's on the worst day of my life. 410 00:21:08,854 --> 00:21:10,314 What about today? 411 00:21:10,397 --> 00:21:11,649 Is today the worst day of your life? 412 00:21:11,732 --> 00:21:14,360 - Yeah. - Wow. That's messed up. 413 00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:18,739 I'm sorry. 414 00:21:18,822 --> 00:21:20,032 Go on. 415 00:21:20,115 --> 00:21:23,661 Is there any way that you could sort of... 416 00:21:23,744 --> 00:21:26,497 just zonk me out so that, like, I don't know... 417 00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:28,999 that I'm at work... in here? 418 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:30,501 Could I come home... 419 00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:34,004 and think that I've been fishing all day or something? 420 00:21:34,088 --> 00:21:36,799 That's... really not what I do, Peter. 421 00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:38,133 Heh. 422 00:21:38,217 --> 00:21:39,385 However... 423 00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:42,930 the good news is, I think I can help you. 424 00:21:43,889 --> 00:21:46,058 I want you to do something for me, Peter. 425 00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:49,937 I want you to try and relax. 426 00:21:53,482 --> 00:21:56,485 I want you to relax every muscle in your body... 427 00:21:56,569 --> 00:22:00,906 beginning with your toes to your fingertips. 428 00:22:03,659 --> 00:22:05,828 Now I want you to relax your legs. 429 00:22:07,204 --> 00:22:09,832 You're beginning to feel your eyelids getting heavy... 430 00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,169 as you slip deeper and deeper... 431 00:22:13,252 --> 00:22:16,505 into a state of complete relaxation. 432 00:22:16,589 --> 00:22:20,759 All your cares and concerns are disappearing. 433 00:22:20,843 --> 00:22:22,344 Deeper and deeper. 434 00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:24,346 Way down. 435 00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,640 Your concern about your job... 436 00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:29,643 melts away... 437 00:22:29,727 --> 00:22:31,645 way... 438 00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,147 way down. 439 00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,565 Unh. 440 00:22:37,193 --> 00:22:39,069 Now, when I count backwards from three... 441 00:22:39,778 --> 00:22:42,531 you'll be in a state of complete relaxation. 442 00:22:42,615 --> 00:22:45,576 Your worries, cares, and inhibitions will be gone... 443 00:22:46,410 --> 00:22:48,287 and you will remain in that state... 444 00:22:49,497 --> 00:22:51,790 until I snap my fingers. 445 00:22:51,874 --> 00:22:53,334 Three. 446 00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,085 Deeper and deeper. 447 00:22:55,169 --> 00:22:56,795 Way... 448 00:22:56,879 --> 00:22:58,339 way down. 449 00:22:58,422 --> 00:23:00,424 Two. 450 00:23:00,508 --> 00:23:02,510 Deeper and deeper... 451 00:23:02,593 --> 00:23:05,429 W-w-w-way down... 452 00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,850 Whu... whu... 453 00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:11,143 One. 454 00:23:12,311 --> 00:23:15,064 Oh, my God! Dr. Swanson! 455 00:23:16,106 --> 00:23:17,816 Ew... ew... 456 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,151 - Is he breathing? - Call 911! 457 00:23:19,235 --> 00:23:22,988 Oh! Where's the phone? Where's the goddamn phone?! 458 00:23:49,056 --> 00:23:50,558 Ahh... 459 00:23:58,065 --> 00:24:00,192 Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh. 460 00:24:00,276 --> 00:24:01,485 It's about... 461 00:24:01,569 --> 00:24:03,320 ten o'clock. 462 00:24:03,404 --> 00:24:04,822 Yeah. Just, uh... 463 00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:06,282 wondering where you are. 464 00:24:08,909 --> 00:24:11,996 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh again. 465 00:24:12,079 --> 00:24:12,997 Uh... 466 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,665 I just wanted to make sure you knew... 467 00:24:14,748 --> 00:24:17,209 that we did start at the, uh... 468 00:24:17,293 --> 00:24:19,670 usual time this morning. 469 00:24:19,753 --> 00:24:22,965 Yeah. It isn't a half day or anything like that... 470 00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:25,009 so if you could just go ahead... 471 00:24:25,092 --> 00:24:27,094 and get here as soon as possible... 472 00:24:27,178 --> 00:24:29,054 that would be terrific. 473 00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:36,687 Ahh... 474 00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:50,784 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum... 475 00:24:50,868 --> 00:24:54,121 Yeah. It's... Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumber... 476 00:24:54,205 --> 00:24:55,998 Yeah. It's me again. 477 00:24:56,081 --> 00:24:58,918 Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute. 478 00:24:59,001 --> 00:25:02,171 Just checking in. 479 00:25:03,380 --> 00:25:04,465 Hello? 480 00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,217 Peter, what's going on? 481 00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:07,468 Huh? 482 00:25:07,551 --> 00:25:09,970 It's three-thirty. Why aren't you at work? 483 00:25:11,388 --> 00:25:12,973 Because I... I... 484 00:25:13,057 --> 00:25:14,475 I didn't feel like it. 485 00:25:15,226 --> 00:25:16,644 Peter, what's gotten into you? 486 00:25:16,727 --> 00:25:18,729 First, you just sit there while Dr. Swanson dies... 487 00:25:18,812 --> 00:25:21,649 then you walk out and embarrass me in front of my friends... 488 00:25:21,732 --> 00:25:23,400 and don't blame this on hypnosis, either. 489 00:25:23,484 --> 00:25:25,277 That's total bull... 490 00:25:31,325 --> 00:25:33,452 Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me. 491 00:25:33,536 --> 00:25:34,995 We're through. 492 00:25:35,079 --> 00:25:36,997 Oh, and one more thing... 493 00:25:37,081 --> 00:25:39,166 I've been cheating on you! 494 00:25:44,296 --> 00:25:47,049 So, from now on, only use the new time sheets... 495 00:25:47,132 --> 00:25:51,637 if you've worked on two or more job codes in one day... 496 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,682 and you need the extra columns to fit it all in. 497 00:25:54,765 --> 00:25:56,058 Otherwise, use the old time sheets... 498 00:25:56,141 --> 00:25:57,643 Where's Peter? 499 00:25:57,726 --> 00:25:59,144 I heard he didn't show up this weekend. 500 00:25:59,228 --> 00:26:00,312 Uh, I don't know. 501 00:26:00,396 --> 00:26:01,897 ...really, really help us out. 502 00:26:01,981 --> 00:26:03,482 Who's that guy? 503 00:26:03,566 --> 00:26:07,236 So, uh... any questions? 504 00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:22,293 Hi. I'm Peter. 505 00:26:22,376 --> 00:26:23,460 Hi. Can I help you? 506 00:26:23,544 --> 00:26:24,670 What are you doin' for lunch today? 507 00:26:24,753 --> 00:26:28,299 Uh, well, our specials today are blackened chicken. 508 00:26:28,382 --> 00:26:30,676 It's actually right there on the board. Excuse me. 509 00:26:33,804 --> 00:26:35,139 Hey, look who's back! 510 00:26:35,222 --> 00:26:36,932 Table for three to... 511 00:26:39,768 --> 00:26:41,687 I was askin' what you were doin' for lunch. 512 00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:43,397 Would you like to have lunch with me? 513 00:26:44,982 --> 00:26:46,192 Are you... are you serious? 514 00:26:46,275 --> 00:26:47,443 Yeah. 515 00:26:48,611 --> 00:26:51,739 Yeah. I... I don't think I'm supposed to do that. 516 00:26:52,364 --> 00:26:54,742 Oh. OK, well, I'll tell you what I'll do. 517 00:26:54,825 --> 00:26:56,243 I'm gonna go next door and get a table... 518 00:26:56,327 --> 00:26:57,995 and if you'd like to join me, uh... 519 00:26:58,078 --> 00:26:59,330 no big deal, all right? 520 00:26:59,413 --> 00:27:01,290 And if not, that's cool, too. 521 00:27:01,373 --> 00:27:02,583 - OK? - OK. 522 00:27:02,666 --> 00:27:03,792 All right. 523 00:27:04,793 --> 00:27:05,878 When you say, "next door..." 524 00:27:05,961 --> 00:27:08,464 do you mean Chili's or Flinger's? 525 00:27:08,547 --> 00:27:10,174 Flinger's. 526 00:27:10,257 --> 00:27:11,425 OK. 527 00:27:12,718 --> 00:27:14,929 What you do at Initech... 528 00:27:15,012 --> 00:27:17,806 is you take the specifications from the customers... 529 00:27:17,890 --> 00:27:20,309 and you bring them down to the software engineers? 530 00:27:20,392 --> 00:27:22,645 Yes. Y-yes. That's... that's right. 531 00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:24,355 Well, then I just have to ask... 532 00:27:24,438 --> 00:27:25,648 why couldn't the customers... 533 00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:29,276 just take them directly to the software people, huh? 534 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,403 Well, I'll tell you why. 535 00:27:32,738 --> 00:27:34,323 Uh, because... 536 00:27:34,406 --> 00:27:37,660 engineers are not good at dealing with customers. 537 00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:39,411 Uh-huh. So... 538 00:27:40,412 --> 00:27:45,084 you physically take the specs from the customer? 539 00:27:46,043 --> 00:27:47,253 Well... 540 00:27:48,671 --> 00:27:51,799 no. My secretary does that or the fax. 541 00:27:51,882 --> 00:27:53,592 Huh. 542 00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:55,386 So then you must physically bring them... 543 00:27:55,469 --> 00:27:56,512 to the software people. 544 00:27:56,595 --> 00:27:57,721 Well... 545 00:27:59,098 --> 00:28:00,182 no. 546 00:28:00,266 --> 00:28:01,517 I mean... 547 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,143 sometimes. 548 00:28:03,227 --> 00:28:07,481 What... what would you say you do here? 549 00:28:08,566 --> 00:28:10,651 Well, look, I already told you. 550 00:28:10,734 --> 00:28:12,987 I deal with the goddamn customers... 551 00:28:13,070 --> 00:28:14,864 so the engineers don't have to. 552 00:28:14,947 --> 00:28:16,991 I have people skills. 553 00:28:17,074 --> 00:28:19,034 I am good at dealing with people! 554 00:28:19,118 --> 00:28:20,494 Can't you understand that?! 555 00:28:20,578 --> 00:28:22,997 What the hell is wrong with you people?! 556 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,290 I... 557 00:28:30,921 --> 00:28:32,006 Let's see... 558 00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:34,300 you are... 559 00:28:34,383 --> 00:28:35,676 Michael... 560 00:28:37,094 --> 00:28:39,805 - Bolton? - Yeah. 561 00:28:41,223 --> 00:28:42,391 Is that your real name? 562 00:28:43,142 --> 00:28:44,310 Yeah. 563 00:28:46,353 --> 00:28:48,397 Are you any relation to the pop singer? 564 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,482 No, it's... it's just a coincidence. 565 00:28:50,566 --> 00:28:52,109 Ha ha. To be honest with you... 566 00:28:52,193 --> 00:28:53,819 I love his music. I do. 567 00:28:53,903 --> 00:28:56,030 - I'm a Michael Bolton fan. - Me, too. 568 00:28:56,113 --> 00:28:57,781 For my money, I don't know if it gets any better... 569 00:28:57,865 --> 00:29:00,326 than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman." 570 00:29:00,409 --> 00:29:02,328 But you must really love his music, huh? 571 00:29:05,247 --> 00:29:06,540 Yeah, he's... he's... 572 00:29:06,624 --> 00:29:08,292 he's pretty... he's pretty good, I guess. 573 00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:09,960 You're goddamn right, he is. 574 00:29:10,044 --> 00:29:12,505 Right. 575 00:29:12,588 --> 00:29:15,049 So tell me, what's your favorite song of his? 576 00:29:15,966 --> 00:29:17,384 Mmm... 577 00:29:20,137 --> 00:29:22,139 I don't... I don't know. Heh heh. 578 00:29:22,223 --> 00:29:24,558 I mean, I guess I sort of like them all. 579 00:29:24,642 --> 00:29:27,770 That's a riot. I'm the exact same way. 580 00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:29,104 But it must be twice as hard for you... 581 00:29:29,188 --> 00:29:30,606 being you have the same name as him. 582 00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:33,567 I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue. 583 00:29:33,651 --> 00:29:36,153 Anyway, let's get down to business, Michael. 584 00:29:36,237 --> 00:29:38,405 You know, you can just call me Mike. 585 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:44,954 Hi. 586 00:29:45,037 --> 00:29:46,330 Hey. 587 00:29:48,249 --> 00:29:51,126 I wonder if I'm allowed to, uh, wear this in here? 588 00:29:51,961 --> 00:29:53,295 I think it would be OK. 589 00:29:54,964 --> 00:29:56,048 Would you like to sit down? 590 00:29:56,131 --> 00:29:57,383 OK. 591 00:29:58,551 --> 00:29:59,718 Ahh. 592 00:30:01,220 --> 00:30:02,304 Wow! 593 00:30:02,388 --> 00:30:05,140 This place is really... nice. 594 00:30:05,224 --> 00:30:07,518 Yeah. Is it? 595 00:30:07,601 --> 00:30:09,812 Yeah, my God, compared to Chotchkie's! 596 00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:12,231 I like the uniforms better, anyways. 597 00:30:13,065 --> 00:30:14,149 I like yours. 598 00:30:14,233 --> 00:30:15,401 Ugh! 599 00:30:18,654 --> 00:30:20,239 "We're not in Kansas anymore." 600 00:30:20,322 --> 00:30:22,366 Yeah. 601 00:30:22,449 --> 00:30:24,827 Really. Ha ha. 602 00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:26,328 It's on your... 603 00:30:27,663 --> 00:30:29,832 Ohh! Yeah. That's... 604 00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:31,792 That's, uh... 605 00:30:31,876 --> 00:30:34,837 That's one of my... my pieces of flair. 606 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,005 What's a "piece of flair"? 607 00:30:36,088 --> 00:30:38,090 Oh, it's, uh, where, you know... 608 00:30:38,174 --> 00:30:41,719 like these suspenders and, uh, buttons, they're all sort of... 609 00:30:41,802 --> 00:30:43,846 We're actually required to wear... 610 00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:46,891 um, fifteen pieces of flair. 611 00:30:46,974 --> 00:30:49,143 It's really stupid, actually. 612 00:30:49,226 --> 00:30:50,436 Do you get to pick 'em yourself? 613 00:30:50,519 --> 00:30:51,979 Yeah, yeah, we do. 614 00:30:52,062 --> 00:30:53,189 Although I didn't actually choose these. 615 00:30:53,272 --> 00:30:57,568 I just sort of grabbed, you know, fifteen buttons. 616 00:30:57,651 --> 00:31:00,404 I don't even know what they say. I don't really care. 617 00:31:01,071 --> 00:31:02,698 I don't really like talking about my flair. 618 00:31:02,781 --> 00:31:04,158 OK. 619 00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:07,244 So, where do you, work, Peter? 620 00:31:07,328 --> 00:31:08,829 Initech. 621 00:31:08,913 --> 00:31:10,706 And... Yeah? What... what do you do there? 622 00:31:11,790 --> 00:31:13,459 I sit in a cubicle... 623 00:31:13,542 --> 00:31:16,545 and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. 624 00:31:17,963 --> 00:31:19,089 What's that? 625 00:31:19,173 --> 00:31:21,300 Well, see, they wrote all this bank software... 626 00:31:21,383 --> 00:31:23,302 and, uh, to save space... 627 00:31:23,385 --> 00:31:25,137 they used two digits for the date instead of four. 628 00:31:25,221 --> 00:31:28,140 So like 98 instead of 1998. 629 00:31:28,224 --> 00:31:31,435 Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code... 630 00:31:31,519 --> 00:31:34,313 and, uh... It doesn't really matter. 631 00:31:34,396 --> 00:31:37,274 I, uh, I don't like my job, and, uh... 632 00:31:37,358 --> 00:31:39,652 I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. 633 00:31:40,903 --> 00:31:42,154 You're just not gonna go? 634 00:31:42,238 --> 00:31:43,405 Yeah. 635 00:31:43,489 --> 00:31:44,657 Won't you get fired? 636 00:31:45,574 --> 00:31:46,784 I don't know. 637 00:31:46,867 --> 00:31:50,663 But I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. 638 00:31:51,831 --> 00:31:52,832 So you're gonna quit? 639 00:31:52,915 --> 00:31:56,085 Nah-uh. Not really. Uh... 640 00:31:56,168 --> 00:31:57,753 I'm just gonna stop going. 641 00:32:00,047 --> 00:32:01,131 What? 642 00:32:01,215 --> 00:32:03,300 Uh, when did you decide all that? 643 00:32:03,384 --> 00:32:04,468 About an hour ago. 644 00:32:04,552 --> 00:32:05,970 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 645 00:32:06,053 --> 00:32:07,221 An hour ago. 646 00:32:08,556 --> 00:32:10,099 So you're gonna get another job? 647 00:32:10,182 --> 00:32:12,309 I don't think I'd like another job. 648 00:32:12,393 --> 00:32:16,230 Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... 649 00:32:16,313 --> 00:32:18,816 You know, I've never really liked paying bills. 650 00:32:18,899 --> 00:32:20,401 I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. 651 00:32:22,444 --> 00:32:23,571 Ahh... 652 00:32:23,654 --> 00:32:25,739 well, so what do you want to do? 653 00:32:25,823 --> 00:32:27,783 I want to take you out to dinner... 654 00:32:27,867 --> 00:32:30,161 and then I want to go back to my apartment and watch "Kung Fu." 655 00:32:30,244 --> 00:32:31,579 Do you ever watch "Kung Fu"? 656 00:32:33,706 --> 00:32:35,374 I love "Kung Fu." 657 00:32:35,457 --> 00:32:37,710 - Channel 39. - Totally. 658 00:32:37,793 --> 00:32:39,545 You should come over and watch "Kung Fu" tonight. 659 00:32:39,628 --> 00:32:41,589 - OK. - Great. 660 00:32:41,672 --> 00:32:43,799 OK. Can we order lunch first? 661 00:32:43,883 --> 00:32:45,426 - Yeah. - OK. 662 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:03,194 Took a stapler off my desk... 663 00:33:09,783 --> 00:33:12,495 Anyway, sounds great, Bob. See you in a few. 664 00:33:15,164 --> 00:33:17,625 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 665 00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:19,293 Nothing. 666 00:33:19,376 --> 00:33:21,295 I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead... 667 00:33:21,378 --> 00:33:23,631 and move your desk again, so... 668 00:33:23,714 --> 00:33:26,467 if you could go ahead and get it as far back... 669 00:33:26,550 --> 00:33:28,385 against that wall as possible... 670 00:33:28,469 --> 00:33:29,720 that would be great. 671 00:33:29,803 --> 00:33:31,305 No, because I was... 672 00:33:31,388 --> 00:33:32,848 That way, we'll have some room... 673 00:33:32,932 --> 00:33:34,725 for some of these boxes and things... 674 00:33:34,808 --> 00:33:37,937 we need to put in here, and, uh... 675 00:33:38,020 --> 00:33:41,440 Oh. Oh, there it is. 676 00:33:41,524 --> 00:33:44,193 Here, let me just go ahead and get that from you. 677 00:33:46,362 --> 00:33:47,655 Great. 678 00:33:48,823 --> 00:33:52,076 So if you could just get to that as soon as possible... 679 00:33:52,159 --> 00:33:54,870 that would be terrific, OK? 680 00:33:54,954 --> 00:33:57,623 Thanks a bunch, Milton. Good-bye. 681 00:33:57,706 --> 00:34:00,042 OK. 682 00:34:01,043 --> 00:34:03,420 I could set the building on fire. 683 00:34:06,715 --> 00:34:08,717 - Peter. - Michael. 684 00:34:08,801 --> 00:34:09,885 What the hell's going on, man? 685 00:34:09,969 --> 00:34:11,804 I thought you'd come in here and start shooting. 686 00:34:11,887 --> 00:34:13,931 No. I just came to get my address book. 687 00:34:14,014 --> 00:34:15,140 I'm not gonna stay. 688 00:34:15,224 --> 00:34:17,518 I got a phone number, Mike, that I don't wanna lose. 689 00:34:17,601 --> 00:34:19,311 What? Peter, you're in deep shit. 690 00:34:19,395 --> 00:34:21,397 You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing? 691 00:34:22,273 --> 00:34:25,109 Michael, I did nothing. 692 00:34:25,192 --> 00:34:26,652 I did absolutely nothing... 693 00:34:26,735 --> 00:34:29,655 and it was everything that I thought it could be. 694 00:34:29,738 --> 00:34:32,324 I hope you have a better story for Lumbergh. 695 00:34:32,408 --> 00:34:34,994 You're supposed to be at your interview with the consultants. 696 00:34:35,077 --> 00:34:36,203 The who? 697 00:34:36,287 --> 00:34:38,581 The consultants. What has gotten into you? 698 00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:43,836 Oh, yeah... right. 699 00:34:44,753 --> 00:34:47,590 Wait, Peter. You gotta postpone it, man. 700 00:34:47,673 --> 00:34:48,757 Tell 'em you've been sick. Make something up. 701 00:34:48,841 --> 00:34:50,968 Oh, no way. No, I feel great. 702 00:34:51,051 --> 00:34:52,887 It's the best day of my life. 703 00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:57,474 Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons. 704 00:34:57,558 --> 00:34:58,684 Uh-huh. 705 00:34:58,767 --> 00:35:01,061 Ah, there you are. We were just talking about you. 706 00:35:01,145 --> 00:35:02,771 You must be Peter Gibbons. 707 00:35:02,855 --> 00:35:04,190 Uh-huh. Terrific. 708 00:35:04,273 --> 00:35:06,650 I'm Bob Slydell. This is my associate Bob Porter. 709 00:35:06,734 --> 00:35:08,152 Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. 710 00:35:08,235 --> 00:35:10,779 Grab a seat and join us for a minute or two. 711 00:35:12,323 --> 00:35:14,033 You see, what we're actually trying to do here... 712 00:35:14,116 --> 00:35:17,036 is we're just, we're trying to get a feel... 713 00:35:17,119 --> 00:35:18,996 for how people spend their day at work. 714 00:35:19,079 --> 00:35:20,706 So if you would... 715 00:35:20,789 --> 00:35:24,376 would you walk us through a typical day for you? 716 00:35:25,544 --> 00:35:27,796 - Yeah. - Great. 717 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,342 Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. 718 00:35:31,425 --> 00:35:33,844 Uh, I use the side door. 719 00:35:33,928 --> 00:35:36,889 That way Lumbergh can't see me. 720 00:35:36,972 --> 00:35:40,893 And after that, I just sort of space out for about an hour. 721 00:35:40,976 --> 00:35:43,479 Uh, "space out"? 722 00:35:43,562 --> 00:35:44,647 Yeah. 723 00:35:44,730 --> 00:35:46,565 I just stare at my desk. 724 00:35:46,649 --> 00:35:48,108 But it looks like I'm working. 725 00:35:48,192 --> 00:35:51,987 I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. 726 00:35:52,071 --> 00:35:53,864 I'd say in a given week... 727 00:35:53,948 --> 00:35:55,783 I probably only do about fifteen minutes... 728 00:35:55,866 --> 00:35:58,744 of real, actual work. 729 00:36:00,246 --> 00:36:03,457 Peter, would you be a good sport... 730 00:36:03,541 --> 00:36:05,501 and indulge us and just... 731 00:36:05,584 --> 00:36:06,627 tell us a little more? 732 00:36:06,710 --> 00:36:08,170 Oh, yeah. 733 00:36:08,254 --> 00:36:11,924 Let me tell you something about T.P.S. reports. 734 00:36:12,007 --> 00:36:13,133 Ahh... 735 00:36:13,217 --> 00:36:16,595 The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. 736 00:36:16,679 --> 00:36:18,639 It's that I just don't care. 737 00:36:18,722 --> 00:36:20,891 Don't... don't care? 738 00:36:20,975 --> 00:36:23,477 It's a problem of motivation, all right? 739 00:36:23,561 --> 00:36:25,145 Now, if I work my ass off... 740 00:36:25,229 --> 00:36:27,106 and Initech ships a few extra units... 741 00:36:27,189 --> 00:36:28,983 I don't see another dime. 742 00:36:29,066 --> 00:36:30,693 So where's the motivation? 743 00:36:31,443 --> 00:36:33,320 And here's something else, Bob... 744 00:36:33,404 --> 00:36:35,322 I have eight different bosses right now. 745 00:36:35,406 --> 00:36:36,490 - I beg your pardon? - Eight bosses. 746 00:36:36,574 --> 00:36:37,658 - Eight? - Eight, Bob. 747 00:36:37,741 --> 00:36:40,494 So that means that when I make a mistake... 748 00:36:40,578 --> 00:36:44,123 I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. 749 00:36:44,206 --> 00:36:47,501 That's my only real motivation, is not to be hassled. 750 00:36:47,585 --> 00:36:48,794 That and the fear of losing my job. 751 00:36:48,878 --> 00:36:50,713 But you know, Bob... 752 00:36:50,796 --> 00:36:52,464 that'll only make someone work just hard enough... 753 00:36:52,548 --> 00:36:53,716 not to get fired. 754 00:36:54,383 --> 00:36:57,303 Would you bear with me for just a second, please? 755 00:36:57,386 --> 00:36:58,721 OK. 756 00:36:59,972 --> 00:37:01,724 What if... and believe me... 757 00:37:01,807 --> 00:37:04,768 this is strictly hypothetical... 758 00:37:04,852 --> 00:37:08,856 but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option... 759 00:37:08,939 --> 00:37:10,649 equity-sharing program? 760 00:37:10,733 --> 00:37:11,984 Would that do anything for you? 761 00:37:12,067 --> 00:37:14,278 I don't know. I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. 762 00:37:14,361 --> 00:37:17,323 Uh, it's been really nice talking to both of you guys. 763 00:37:17,406 --> 00:37:18,657 - Yes. - Absolutely. 764 00:37:18,741 --> 00:37:21,327 Pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me. 765 00:37:21,410 --> 00:37:22,953 Good luck with your layoffs, all right? 766 00:37:23,037 --> 00:37:24,788 I hope your firings go really well. 767 00:37:24,872 --> 00:37:25,998 - OK. - Thanks a lot. 768 00:37:26,081 --> 00:37:27,833 Great. Wow. 769 00:37:35,466 --> 00:37:37,801 So, Peter, what's happening? 770 00:37:37,885 --> 00:37:39,261 Listen, uh... 771 00:37:46,644 --> 00:37:48,979 Joanna, would you come here a minute, please? 772 00:37:49,063 --> 00:37:50,940 Yeah. 773 00:37:51,023 --> 00:37:55,194 I'm sorry I was late, but I was having lunch, and I, uh... 774 00:37:55,277 --> 00:37:56,904 We need to talk about your flair. 775 00:37:57,780 --> 00:38:00,658 Really? I... I have fifteen pieces on. 776 00:38:00,741 --> 00:38:02,201 I also... 777 00:38:02,284 --> 00:38:05,412 Well, fifteen is the minimum, OK? 778 00:38:05,496 --> 00:38:06,580 Oh. OK. 779 00:38:06,664 --> 00:38:08,582 Now, you know, it's up to you whether or not... 780 00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:11,502 you want to just do the bare minimum or... 781 00:38:11,585 --> 00:38:12,795 Well, like Brian, for example... 782 00:38:12,878 --> 00:38:16,257 has thirty-seven pieces of flair on today. 783 00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:17,633 And a terrific smile. 784 00:38:17,716 --> 00:38:20,052 OK, so you want me to wear more? 785 00:38:21,679 --> 00:38:22,763 Look, Joanna... 786 00:38:22,847 --> 00:38:23,931 Yeah? 787 00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:25,850 People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, OK? 788 00:38:25,933 --> 00:38:29,061 They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. 789 00:38:29,854 --> 00:38:31,146 OK? that's what the flair's about. 790 00:38:31,230 --> 00:38:32,898 - It's about fun. - Yeah. 791 00:38:32,982 --> 00:38:35,151 OK, so more then, yeah? 792 00:38:36,902 --> 00:38:40,114 Look, we want you to express yourself, OK? 793 00:38:40,197 --> 00:38:44,618 Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then, OK... 794 00:38:44,702 --> 00:38:47,454 but some people choose to wear more... 795 00:38:47,538 --> 00:38:49,415 and we encourage that, OK? 796 00:38:50,749 --> 00:38:52,751 You do want to express yourself, don't you? 797 00:38:53,878 --> 00:38:54,962 Y-yeah. 798 00:38:55,045 --> 00:38:57,464 OK, great, great. That's all I ask. 799 00:38:57,548 --> 00:38:59,175 OK. 800 00:39:00,301 --> 00:39:03,012 Right, so there's three more people... 801 00:39:03,095 --> 00:39:05,097 we can easily lose. 802 00:39:05,181 --> 00:39:08,392 Then there's Tom Smykowski. 803 00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:10,394 He's useless. 804 00:39:10,477 --> 00:39:12,021 Gone. 805 00:39:12,104 --> 00:39:13,689 Sounds good to me. 806 00:39:13,772 --> 00:39:16,150 Here's a peculiar... 807 00:39:16,233 --> 00:39:18,486 - Uh, Milton Waddams. - Who's he? 808 00:39:18,569 --> 00:39:20,571 You know, squirrelly looking guy. Mumbles a lot. 809 00:39:20,654 --> 00:39:21,739 Oh, yeah. 810 00:39:21,822 --> 00:39:23,491 We... we can't actually find a record... 811 00:39:23,574 --> 00:39:25,826 of him being a current employee here. 812 00:39:25,910 --> 00:39:27,703 I looked into it more deeply... 813 00:39:27,786 --> 00:39:29,705 and I found that apparently what happened... 814 00:39:29,788 --> 00:39:32,500 is that he was laid off five years ago... 815 00:39:32,583 --> 00:39:33,751 and no one ever told him about it... 816 00:39:33,834 --> 00:39:36,295 but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department... 817 00:39:36,378 --> 00:39:37,671 he still gets a paycheque. 818 00:39:37,755 --> 00:39:40,591 So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. 819 00:39:40,674 --> 00:39:41,759 Great. 820 00:39:41,842 --> 00:39:44,512 So, uh, Milton has been let go? 821 00:39:44,595 --> 00:39:45,679 Just a second there, professor. 822 00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:49,308 We, uh, we fixed the glitch. 823 00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:51,519 So he won't be receiving a paycheque anymore. 824 00:39:51,602 --> 00:39:54,063 So it'll just work itself out naturally. 825 00:39:54,146 --> 00:39:57,191 We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. 826 00:39:57,274 --> 00:39:58,359 The problem is solved from your end. 827 00:39:59,610 --> 00:40:03,072 I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. 828 00:40:03,155 --> 00:40:05,699 Now, we had a chance to meet this young man... 829 00:40:05,783 --> 00:40:08,369 and, boy, that's just a straight shooter... 830 00:40:08,452 --> 00:40:10,120 with upper management written all over him. 831 00:40:10,204 --> 00:40:12,581 Eech. Ooh. 832 00:40:12,665 --> 00:40:15,960 Yeah. Um... 833 00:40:16,043 --> 00:40:17,294 I'm going to have to go ahead... 834 00:40:17,378 --> 00:40:19,505 and sort of disagree with you there. 835 00:40:19,588 --> 00:40:22,132 Yeah, uh, he's been real flaky lately... 836 00:40:22,216 --> 00:40:25,970 and I'm just not sure that he's the caliber person... 837 00:40:26,053 --> 00:40:28,305 that we would want for upper management. 838 00:40:28,389 --> 00:40:31,058 He's also been having some problems... 839 00:40:31,141 --> 00:40:33,060 with his T.P.S. reports. 840 00:40:34,144 --> 00:40:36,021 I'll handle this. 841 00:40:36,105 --> 00:40:39,149 We feel... 842 00:40:39,233 --> 00:40:41,318 that the problem isn't with Peter. 843 00:40:41,402 --> 00:40:43,154 Mm-mmm. 844 00:40:43,237 --> 00:40:45,322 It's that you haven't challenged him enough... 845 00:40:45,406 --> 00:40:46,490 to get him really motivated. 846 00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:47,741 There it is. 847 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,620 Yeah... Ah, well... 848 00:40:51,704 --> 00:40:53,956 I'm just not sure about that right now. 849 00:40:54,039 --> 00:40:56,750 Yeah, Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here. 850 00:40:56,834 --> 00:41:00,129 How much time would you say you spend each week... 851 00:41:00,212 --> 00:41:02,214 dealing with these T.P.S. reports? 852 00:41:07,428 --> 00:41:08,596 Yeah... 853 00:42:16,038 --> 00:42:17,248 Hey, Peter, man! 854 00:42:17,331 --> 00:42:20,876 Check out channel nine. It's the breast exams. Whoo! 855 00:42:36,725 --> 00:42:37,977 Hi, Peter. 856 00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:39,812 Oh, hi, Dom. 857 00:43:28,235 --> 00:43:30,112 So... Peter... 858 00:43:30,196 --> 00:43:31,280 what's happening? 859 00:43:31,363 --> 00:43:34,658 Ahh, now, are you going to go ahead... 860 00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:38,579 and have those T.P.S. reports for us this afternoon? 861 00:43:38,662 --> 00:43:40,039 No. 862 00:43:41,290 --> 00:43:43,792 Ahh... yeah... 863 00:43:43,876 --> 00:43:45,753 So I guess we should probably go ahead... 864 00:43:45,836 --> 00:43:48,714 and have a little talk, hmm? 865 00:43:48,797 --> 00:43:51,800 Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm... I'm kinda busy. 866 00:43:51,884 --> 00:43:55,721 In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead. 867 00:43:56,597 --> 00:43:57,806 Just come back another time. 868 00:43:57,890 --> 00:44:00,309 I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes. 869 00:44:01,393 --> 00:44:03,521 Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. 870 00:44:03,604 --> 00:44:05,814 Yeah, they called me at home. 871 00:44:10,611 --> 00:44:11,695 That sounds good, Peter. 872 00:44:11,779 --> 00:44:13,948 And, uh, we'll go ahead and... 873 00:44:14,031 --> 00:44:16,325 get this all fixed up for you. 874 00:44:16,408 --> 00:44:17,451 Great. 875 00:44:22,456 --> 00:44:25,167 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 876 00:44:26,460 --> 00:44:28,796 I... I didn't receive my paycheque this week. 877 00:44:28,879 --> 00:44:33,467 Uh, you're going to have to talk to payroll about that. 878 00:44:33,551 --> 00:44:34,802 I did and they said... 879 00:44:34,885 --> 00:44:36,679 Milt, we're gonna go ahead... 880 00:44:36,762 --> 00:44:40,474 and move you downstairs into storage "B." 881 00:44:40,558 --> 00:44:42,268 No, I... I... 882 00:44:42,351 --> 00:44:46,313 New people are coming, and we need the space. 883 00:44:46,397 --> 00:44:47,648 But there's no space... 884 00:44:47,731 --> 00:44:51,318 So if you could go ahead and pack your stuff... 885 00:44:51,402 --> 00:44:53,070 and move it down there... 886 00:44:53,154 --> 00:44:55,156 that would be terrific. 887 00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:56,532 OK? 888 00:44:56,615 --> 00:44:58,617 Uh, excuse me... 889 00:44:58,701 --> 00:45:04,290 I believe you have my stapler, please. Hmm. 890 00:45:04,415 --> 00:45:06,667 You've been missing a lot of work lately. 891 00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:08,919 I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob. 892 00:45:10,337 --> 00:45:11,589 Good one. 893 00:45:11,672 --> 00:45:13,465 Oh, that's terrific, Peter. 894 00:45:13,549 --> 00:45:16,677 I'm sure you've... you've heard some of the rumors... 895 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,470 circulating around the hallways... 896 00:45:18,554 --> 00:45:21,307 about how we're going to do a little "housecleaning..." 897 00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:22,641 with some software people. 898 00:45:22,725 --> 00:45:25,895 Well, Bob, I have heard that. You gotta do what you gotta do. 899 00:45:25,978 --> 00:45:27,980 We'll be getting rid of these people. 900 00:45:28,063 --> 00:45:32,860 First, Mr. Samir Naga... 901 00:45:32,943 --> 00:45:34,111 Naga... 902 00:45:34,195 --> 00:45:37,406 Naga-gonna work here anymore, anyway. 903 00:45:37,490 --> 00:45:40,868 And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him. 904 00:45:40,951 --> 00:45:42,620 You're gonna layoff Samir and Michael? 905 00:45:42,703 --> 00:45:45,206 Yeah. We're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates. 906 00:45:45,289 --> 00:45:47,458 Farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal. 907 00:45:47,541 --> 00:45:48,792 It's standard operating procedure. 908 00:45:48,876 --> 00:45:51,045 Do they know this yet? 909 00:45:51,128 --> 00:45:53,297 No. No, of course not. 910 00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:56,175 We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. 911 00:45:56,258 --> 00:45:58,469 Studies have statistically shown... 912 00:45:58,552 --> 00:46:00,221 there's less chance of an incident... 913 00:46:00,304 --> 00:46:01,972 if you do it at the end of the week. 914 00:46:02,056 --> 00:46:05,142 Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position... 915 00:46:05,226 --> 00:46:08,896 to have as many as four people... 916 00:46:08,979 --> 00:46:10,272 working right underneath you. 917 00:46:10,356 --> 00:46:12,483 This is a big promotion, Pete. 918 00:46:12,566 --> 00:46:15,194 So you're going to fire Michael and Samir... 919 00:46:15,277 --> 00:46:17,112 and give me more money? 920 00:46:19,073 --> 00:46:20,783 Uh-huh. 921 00:46:20,866 --> 00:46:23,035 Wow! 922 00:46:23,118 --> 00:46:26,080 Hmm. Yeah. 923 00:46:26,163 --> 00:46:28,958 That's it. That's exactly what I need. 924 00:46:29,041 --> 00:46:30,292 Give it to me. 925 00:46:30,376 --> 00:46:31,836 Come on, you little fucker, let's go. 926 00:46:31,919 --> 00:46:33,462 That's what I need. Let's do that. 927 00:46:33,546 --> 00:46:36,090 Let's do exactly that, you little fuck... 928 00:46:36,173 --> 00:46:37,967 - Michael. - Hey. 929 00:46:38,050 --> 00:46:39,426 Listen to me. 930 00:46:41,971 --> 00:46:43,556 What are you doing tonight? 931 00:46:45,099 --> 00:46:47,977 Michael, there comes a point in a man's life... 932 00:46:48,060 --> 00:46:50,563 and maybe that time for you is now... 933 00:46:51,689 --> 00:46:55,317 when it doesn't hurt to start thinking about the future. 934 00:46:55,401 --> 00:46:57,486 Uh, no offence there, Peter... 935 00:46:57,570 --> 00:46:59,321 but speak for yourself there, sport. 936 00:46:59,405 --> 00:47:02,575 I'm not the one who's been flakin' out at work. 937 00:47:02,658 --> 00:47:06,662 I know you had this religious experience or whatever... 938 00:47:06,745 --> 00:47:09,498 but get your shit together, or you're gonna get canned. 939 00:47:10,499 --> 00:47:13,002 Yeah, and, uh, and I... Listen... 940 00:47:14,044 --> 00:47:15,796 That virus you're always talking about... 941 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,007 the one that could rip off the company... 942 00:47:18,090 --> 00:47:19,508 for a bunch of money. 943 00:47:19,592 --> 00:47:20,843 Yeah, what about it? 944 00:47:20,926 --> 00:47:22,595 Well, how does it work? 945 00:47:23,387 --> 00:47:24,763 It's pretty brilliant. 946 00:47:24,847 --> 00:47:26,974 What it does is every time there's a bank transaction... 947 00:47:27,057 --> 00:47:29,476 where interest is computed... there are thousands a day... 948 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,520 the computer ends up with these fractions of a cent... 949 00:47:31,604 --> 00:47:33,105 which it usually rounds off. 950 00:47:33,189 --> 00:47:35,524 What this does is it takes those little remainders... 951 00:47:35,608 --> 00:47:37,526 and puts it into an account. 952 00:47:37,610 --> 00:47:40,321 - This sounds familiar. - They did it in "Superman III." 953 00:47:40,404 --> 00:47:41,530 Right, uh... 954 00:47:41,614 --> 00:47:43,324 An underrated movie, actually. 955 00:47:43,407 --> 00:47:46,702 There were hackers that did it in the seventies as well. 956 00:47:46,785 --> 00:47:49,788 - So they check for this now. - No, here's the thing. 957 00:47:49,872 --> 00:47:53,125 Initech's so backed up with all the software we're updating... 958 00:47:53,209 --> 00:47:54,335 they'd never notice. 959 00:47:54,418 --> 00:47:56,420 You're right. 960 00:47:56,504 --> 00:47:58,839 Even if they wanted to, they couldn't check all that code. 961 00:47:58,923 --> 00:48:01,926 Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses. 962 00:48:02,009 --> 00:48:05,930 So, Michael, what's to stop you from doing this? 963 00:48:06,013 --> 00:48:08,557 It's not worth the risk. I got a good job. 964 00:48:09,767 --> 00:48:12,228 What if you didn't have a good job? 965 00:48:13,687 --> 00:48:14,897 Cock gobblers! 966 00:48:18,567 --> 00:48:22,321 Samir and I are the best programmers they got. 967 00:48:22,404 --> 00:48:24,573 You haven't been showin' up, and you get to keep your job. 968 00:48:24,657 --> 00:48:26,450 Actually, I'm being promoted. 969 00:48:26,534 --> 00:48:29,161 - What?! - I know, Michael. 970 00:48:29,245 --> 00:48:31,747 It's completely unfair. 971 00:48:31,831 --> 00:48:34,291 And I realized something today. 972 00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:37,294 It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. 973 00:48:37,378 --> 00:48:39,380 It's about all of us together. 974 00:48:41,048 --> 00:48:44,385 I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist. 975 00:48:44,468 --> 00:48:46,971 Maybe it was just shock, and it's wearing off now... 976 00:48:47,054 --> 00:48:49,723 but when I saw that fat man keel over and die... 977 00:48:49,807 --> 00:48:52,768 Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth. 978 00:48:52,852 --> 00:48:55,771 We weren't meant to spend it this way. 979 00:48:55,855 --> 00:48:59,150 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles... 980 00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:01,152 staring at computer screens all day... 981 00:49:01,235 --> 00:49:02,319 filling out useless forms... 982 00:49:02,403 --> 00:49:04,029 and listening to eight different bosses... 983 00:49:04,113 --> 00:49:06,532 drone on about mission statements. 984 00:49:06,615 --> 00:49:09,493 I told those fudgepackers I liked Michael Bolton's music. 985 00:49:09,577 --> 00:49:13,247 Ohh. That is not right, Michael. 986 00:49:13,330 --> 00:49:16,167 For five years now, you've worked your ass off... 987 00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:20,296 hoping for a promotion, profit sharing, or something. 988 00:49:20,379 --> 00:49:21,755 Five years... 989 00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:24,633 of your mid-twenties now gone. 990 00:49:24,717 --> 00:49:25,968 And you're gonna go in tomorrow... 991 00:49:26,051 --> 00:49:28,637 they're gonna throw you out on the street. 992 00:49:28,721 --> 00:49:30,472 You know why? 993 00:49:30,556 --> 00:49:34,977 So Bill Lumbergh's stock will go up a quarter of a point. 994 00:49:35,060 --> 00:49:36,645 Ugh. 995 00:49:36,729 --> 00:49:38,814 Michael, let's make that stock go down... 996 00:49:38,898 --> 00:49:40,858 and let's take enough money out of that place... 997 00:49:40,941 --> 00:49:44,236 so that we never have to sit in a cubicle ever again. 998 00:49:45,696 --> 00:49:47,615 Your software works, right? 999 00:49:47,698 --> 00:49:49,366 Of course it works. That's not the point. 1000 00:49:50,826 --> 00:49:52,912 Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to install it. 1001 00:49:52,995 --> 00:49:55,498 I don't know the credit union's software well enough. OK? 1002 00:49:55,581 --> 00:49:58,542 Yeah. But Samir does. 1003 00:49:59,376 --> 00:50:00,836 But that's not much money. 1004 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,129 That's the beauty of it. 1005 00:50:02,213 --> 00:50:06,258 Each withdrawal, it's a fraction of a cent, too small to notice. 1006 00:50:06,342 --> 00:50:08,511 But you take a few thousand withdrawals a day... 1007 00:50:08,594 --> 00:50:10,012 you space it out over a couple of years... 1008 00:50:10,095 --> 00:50:12,348 that's a few hundred thousand dollars. 1009 00:50:12,431 --> 00:50:13,641 It's like "Superman III." 1010 00:50:13,724 --> 00:50:15,768 "Superman III"? 1011 00:50:15,851 --> 00:50:19,522 I have to leave now. I have to get my résumé ready. 1012 00:50:19,605 --> 00:50:23,776 For another job where they can fire you for no reason? 1013 00:50:23,859 --> 00:50:26,570 That's right. If I'm lucky. 1014 00:50:26,654 --> 00:50:30,783 I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? 1015 00:50:30,866 --> 00:50:33,619 Yes, but I'm not going to do anything illegal. 1016 00:50:33,702 --> 00:50:36,121 Illegal? Samir, this is America. 1017 00:50:36,205 --> 00:50:38,249 Come on. Sit down. 1018 00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:41,418 Come on. This isn't Riyadh. 1019 00:50:41,502 --> 00:50:44,421 They're not going to saw your hands off here. 1020 00:50:44,505 --> 00:50:46,882 The worst they'd do is put you for a couple of months... 1021 00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:50,261 into a white-collar, minimum-security resort. 1022 00:50:50,344 --> 00:50:54,014 Shit, we should be so lucky. They have conjugal visits there. 1023 00:50:54,098 --> 00:50:55,724 - Really? - Yes. 1024 00:50:55,808 --> 00:50:57,101 Shit! 1025 00:50:57,184 --> 00:50:59,937 I'm a free man. I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. 1026 00:51:00,020 --> 00:51:01,772 So what do you think? 1027 00:51:01,856 --> 00:51:04,358 This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir. 1028 00:51:04,441 --> 00:51:05,651 Samir? 1029 00:51:07,361 --> 00:51:10,114 You came here looking for a land of opportunity. 1030 00:51:10,197 --> 00:51:13,325 And this is the knock of that opportunity. 1031 00:51:13,409 --> 00:51:15,786 Tomorrow is your last day at Initech. 1032 00:51:15,870 --> 00:51:17,371 You have two options... 1033 00:51:17,454 --> 00:51:19,832 unemployment or early retirement. 1034 00:51:19,915 --> 00:51:21,500 What's it gonna be? 1035 00:51:22,293 --> 00:51:23,878 - I have a question. - Yes? 1036 00:51:23,961 --> 00:51:27,673 In this conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? 1037 00:51:27,756 --> 00:51:30,467 Yep, you sure can. 1038 00:51:33,971 --> 00:51:35,139 OK, I'll do it. 1039 00:51:35,222 --> 00:51:38,100 That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! 1040 00:51:38,184 --> 00:51:39,560 Can we discuss the plan? 1041 00:51:39,643 --> 00:51:41,312 OK, yeah, good, right. 1042 00:51:41,395 --> 00:51:42,855 It works like a computer virus. 1043 00:51:42,938 --> 00:51:45,524 All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe. 1044 00:51:45,608 --> 00:51:46,775 It'll do the rest. 1045 00:51:46,859 --> 00:51:49,195 Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there. 1046 00:51:49,278 --> 00:51:52,114 Before we go any further, all right? 1047 00:51:52,198 --> 00:51:54,700 We have to swear to God, Allah... 1048 00:51:54,783 --> 00:51:57,286 that nobody knows about this but us, all right? 1049 00:51:57,369 --> 00:52:00,456 No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody. 1050 00:52:00,539 --> 00:52:01,749 - Of course. - Agreed. 1051 00:52:01,832 --> 00:52:04,001 Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either. 1052 00:52:04,084 --> 00:52:06,295 - What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cool. 1053 00:52:06,378 --> 00:52:09,757 All right. Here's how I see it all going down. 1054 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,635 Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. 1055 00:52:12,718 --> 00:52:13,928 Thank you, Bob. 1056 00:52:14,011 --> 00:52:16,305 We'll get some people under you right away. 1057 00:53:42,016 --> 00:53:43,267 That was easy. 1058 00:53:43,350 --> 00:53:45,352 Yeah, I guess it was. 1059 00:53:45,436 --> 00:53:47,021 What'd you do with the... 1060 00:53:47,188 --> 00:53:48,981 Hey, man. 1061 00:53:49,064 --> 00:53:50,733 Oh, hey, Drew. 1062 00:53:50,816 --> 00:53:52,443 You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? 1063 00:53:52,526 --> 00:53:53,611 That he got laid off? 1064 00:53:53,694 --> 00:53:55,196 No, man, check it out. 1065 00:53:55,279 --> 00:53:57,823 Last week, after he found out he was getting laid off... 1066 00:53:57,907 --> 00:54:01,285 he tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage. 1067 00:54:01,368 --> 00:54:02,495 Is he dead? 1068 00:54:02,578 --> 00:54:04,121 No, man, check it out. 1069 00:54:04,205 --> 00:54:07,333 His wife comes home early and catches him. 1070 00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,293 He tries to play it off like nothing happened. 1071 00:54:09,376 --> 00:54:12,296 I was having some trouble with the shifter here. 1072 00:54:12,379 --> 00:54:13,672 It's jammed. 1073 00:54:13,756 --> 00:54:16,217 I... I couldn't get it into drive. 1074 00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:18,969 - I... I... I mean, reverse. - You OK, Tom? 1075 00:54:19,053 --> 00:54:21,347 Then as he's lookin' at her... 1076 00:54:21,430 --> 00:54:23,432 he decides he wants to live. 1077 00:54:23,516 --> 00:54:24,975 Yeah, I think I'm OK. 1078 00:54:25,059 --> 00:54:26,435 Right. 1079 00:54:26,519 --> 00:54:28,687 Seems to be working now. 1080 00:54:30,481 --> 00:54:32,191 See you later, honey. 1081 00:54:32,274 --> 00:54:33,526 Love ya. 1082 00:54:35,110 --> 00:54:38,989 But as soon as he backs out of his driveway... Bam! 1083 00:54:39,073 --> 00:54:41,700 He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver. 1084 00:54:41,784 --> 00:54:43,744 - Is he OK? - Sort of. 1085 00:54:43,828 --> 00:54:46,956 Broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back... 1086 00:54:47,039 --> 00:54:49,208 but he's getting a huge settlement out of this. 1087 00:54:49,291 --> 00:54:50,459 Like seven figures. 1088 00:54:50,543 --> 00:54:52,044 He's getting out of the hospital tomorrow. 1089 00:54:52,127 --> 00:54:54,046 He's throwing a big party this weekend to celebrate. 1090 00:54:54,129 --> 00:54:56,131 We're all invited. 1091 00:54:56,215 --> 00:54:58,843 I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. 1092 00:54:58,926 --> 00:55:01,470 Things go well, I might be showing her my "Oh" face. 1093 00:55:01,554 --> 00:55:03,931 Oh, oh, oh... 1094 00:55:04,014 --> 00:55:07,059 You know what I'm talking about. Oh. 1095 00:55:07,142 --> 00:55:09,270 Yeah. Right. 1096 00:55:09,353 --> 00:55:10,688 See you guys there. 1097 00:55:12,022 --> 00:55:15,234 Wow, our last day at Initech. 1098 00:55:16,527 --> 00:55:18,529 I can't believe they had security escort us out. 1099 00:55:18,612 --> 00:55:20,865 It's not like we're going to steal something. 1100 00:55:23,117 --> 00:55:24,243 I stole something. 1101 00:55:24,326 --> 00:55:26,328 Oh, yeah. I guess we all did. 1102 00:55:26,412 --> 00:55:29,081 No, I stole something else. 1103 00:55:30,124 --> 00:55:31,584 What did you steal? 1104 00:55:33,169 --> 00:55:35,462 Call it a going-away present. 1105 00:57:12,685 --> 00:57:14,145 Who's got my keys? 1106 00:57:14,228 --> 00:57:15,604 I'm driving. 1107 00:57:15,688 --> 00:57:17,356 Everything is gonna be OK. 1108 00:57:17,439 --> 00:57:19,275 All right? OK? 1109 00:57:19,358 --> 00:57:20,943 It's fun, and it's exciting. 1110 00:57:21,026 --> 00:57:23,571 I gotta... I gotta go. All right? 1111 00:57:23,654 --> 00:57:24,822 Joanna's coming over. 1112 00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:28,075 Don't worry. You're worrying. All right? 1113 00:57:28,159 --> 00:57:30,286 Monday morning, we're gonna check the account balance. 1114 00:57:30,369 --> 00:57:31,453 Everything will be OK. 1115 00:57:31,537 --> 00:57:33,664 Don't miss Tom's barbecue. I'll see you there. 1116 00:57:33,747 --> 00:57:35,457 All right? Good night! 1117 00:57:35,541 --> 00:57:38,210 Back up in your ass with the resurrection 1118 00:57:40,796 --> 00:57:42,923 What were you guys celebrating last night? 1119 00:57:43,007 --> 00:57:47,720 Oh, um... I'm not really at liberty to talk about it. 1120 00:57:50,931 --> 00:57:52,558 I really can't. 1121 00:57:55,269 --> 00:57:58,314 So, when the subroutine compounds the interest... 1122 00:57:58,397 --> 00:58:00,608 it uses all these extra decimal places... 1123 00:58:00,691 --> 00:58:02,568 that just get rounded off. 1124 00:58:02,651 --> 00:58:04,195 So we simplified the whole thing... 1125 00:58:04,278 --> 00:58:07,531 and we round 'em all down and drop the remainder... 1126 00:58:07,615 --> 00:58:09,617 into an account that we opened. 1127 00:58:10,743 --> 00:58:12,161 So you're stealing? 1128 00:58:13,204 --> 00:58:15,039 Uh, no. No, you don't understand. 1129 00:58:15,122 --> 00:58:18,876 It's, uh, very complicated. It's, uh... 1130 00:58:18,959 --> 00:58:21,962 It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny... 1131 00:58:22,046 --> 00:58:25,341 and, uh, over time, they add up to a lot. 1132 00:58:25,424 --> 00:58:29,136 Oh, OK. So you're gonna make a lot of money, right? 1133 00:58:29,220 --> 00:58:30,513 - Yeah. - Right. 1134 00:58:30,596 --> 00:58:31,680 It's not yours? 1135 00:58:31,764 --> 00:58:33,933 Uh... well, it becomes ours. 1136 00:58:34,016 --> 00:58:35,851 How is that not stealing? 1137 00:58:38,521 --> 00:58:41,732 I don't think I'm explaining this very well. 1138 00:58:41,816 --> 00:58:44,902 Um, the 7-Eleven, right? 1139 00:58:44,985 --> 00:58:47,238 You'd take a penny from the tray. 1140 00:58:47,321 --> 00:58:48,572 From the crippled children? 1141 00:58:48,656 --> 00:58:49,782 No, that's the jar. 1142 00:58:49,865 --> 00:58:53,369 I'm talking about the tray... the pennies for everybody. 1143 00:58:53,452 --> 00:58:54,787 Oh, for everybody. OK. 1144 00:58:54,870 --> 00:58:56,956 Yeah. Well, those are whole pennies. 1145 00:58:57,039 --> 00:59:00,960 I'm just talking about fractions of a penny, OK? 1146 00:59:01,043 --> 00:59:02,795 But we do it from a much bigger tray... 1147 00:59:02,878 --> 00:59:04,964 and we do it a couple of million times. 1148 00:59:05,047 --> 00:59:06,465 So what's wrong with that? 1149 00:59:06,549 --> 00:59:08,175 I don't know. It just seems wrong. 1150 00:59:08,259 --> 00:59:09,426 It's not wrong. 1151 00:59:09,510 --> 00:59:10,678 Initech is wrong. 1152 00:59:10,761 --> 00:59:13,264 Initech is an evil corporation, all right? 1153 00:59:13,347 --> 00:59:15,432 Chotchkie's is wrong. 1154 00:59:15,516 --> 00:59:17,434 Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning... 1155 00:59:17,518 --> 00:59:19,520 and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair? 1156 00:59:19,603 --> 00:59:21,981 Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start... 1157 00:59:22,064 --> 00:59:23,732 taking money from the register. 1158 00:59:23,816 --> 00:59:25,025 Well, maybe you should. 1159 00:59:26,819 --> 00:59:30,114 The Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. 1160 00:59:30,197 --> 00:59:31,448 What? 1161 00:59:33,159 --> 00:59:34,785 Look, we don't... I'm... 1162 00:59:34,869 --> 00:59:36,495 We don't have to talk about this now. 1163 00:59:36,579 --> 00:59:40,082 Let's just go to the barbecue, all right? 1164 00:59:43,169 --> 00:59:45,838 Michael, Samir, how you doin'? 1165 00:59:45,921 --> 00:59:47,047 - Hey, Tom. - Hello, Tom. 1166 00:59:47,131 --> 00:59:50,176 I'd like you to meet my lawyer Rob Newhouse. 1167 00:59:50,259 --> 00:59:52,970 Rob, Michael. Samir. 1168 00:59:53,053 --> 00:59:56,515 Peter! How are you? I'm glad you could make it. 1169 00:59:56,599 --> 00:59:59,602 Tom, hi. This is somebody I'd like you to meet. 1170 00:59:59,685 --> 01:00:01,520 - This is, uh, Joanna. - Hi. 1171 01:00:01,604 --> 01:00:04,023 Hi. Forgive me for not getting up. 1172 01:00:10,696 --> 01:00:13,532 Ooh, ooh. 1173 01:00:13,616 --> 01:00:16,035 Peter, come here a minute. I wanna show you something. 1174 01:00:17,369 --> 01:00:19,997 Well... what do you think? It's a prototype. 1175 01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:21,832 Huh... that's... 1176 01:00:21,916 --> 01:00:24,502 that's exactly as you described it. 1177 01:00:26,504 --> 01:00:29,006 Uh, listen, I heard about your... your settlement. 1178 01:00:29,089 --> 01:00:30,257 Congratulations. 1179 01:00:30,341 --> 01:00:31,467 Well, thanks, Peter. 1180 01:00:31,550 --> 01:00:35,429 You know, I'm glad you're here, because I wanted to talk to you. 1181 01:00:35,513 --> 01:00:38,849 I know how you get depressed about your job and all, and... 1182 01:00:38,933 --> 01:00:41,602 I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. 1183 01:00:41,685 --> 01:00:43,354 I used to be the same way. 1184 01:00:43,437 --> 01:00:45,439 - Really? - Sure. 1185 01:00:45,523 --> 01:00:47,149 Maybe I didn't whine as much. 1186 01:00:47,233 --> 01:00:50,069 But I bet I hated my job even more than you... 1187 01:00:50,152 --> 01:00:52,446 and I'd been doing it for over thirty years. 1188 01:00:52,530 --> 01:00:53,823 Wow. 1189 01:00:53,906 --> 01:00:57,451 Just remember, if you hang in there long enough... 1190 01:00:57,535 --> 01:01:00,788 good things can happen in this world. 1191 01:01:00,871 --> 01:01:02,957 I mean, look at me. 1192 01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:05,376 Thanks, Tom. 1193 01:01:06,418 --> 01:01:08,295 Ah, sure. 1194 01:01:13,676 --> 01:01:16,887 Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. 1195 01:01:16,971 --> 01:01:19,598 Minimum-security prison is no picnic. 1196 01:01:19,682 --> 01:01:21,809 I have a client in there right now. 1197 01:01:21,892 --> 01:01:23,519 He says the trick is... 1198 01:01:23,602 --> 01:01:25,437 kick someone's ass the first day... 1199 01:01:25,521 --> 01:01:26,981 or become someone's bitch. 1200 01:01:27,064 --> 01:01:29,650 Then everything will be all right. 1201 01:01:29,733 --> 01:01:31,360 Why do you ask, anyway? 1202 01:01:31,443 --> 01:01:33,696 Oh, no, we just... 1203 01:01:33,779 --> 01:01:34,989 It's a... 1204 01:01:41,245 --> 01:01:43,289 - Hey, Peter. - Drew. 1205 01:01:43,372 --> 01:01:45,541 That's something about old Smykowski, huh? 1206 01:01:45,624 --> 01:01:47,418 - Yeah. - Lucky bastard. 1207 01:01:48,586 --> 01:01:51,755 Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's? 1208 01:01:51,839 --> 01:01:53,591 Yep. 1209 01:01:53,674 --> 01:01:55,259 Who's she here with? 1210 01:01:55,342 --> 01:01:56,635 She's with me. 1211 01:01:58,470 --> 01:02:00,598 - Really? - Yep. 1212 01:02:00,681 --> 01:02:04,143 All right, Peter. Ooh, ooh, right on. 1213 01:02:05,186 --> 01:02:07,313 Make sure you wear a rubber, dude. 1214 01:02:09,607 --> 01:02:10,733 Why's that, Drew? 1215 01:02:10,816 --> 01:02:12,443 Are you kidding me? 1216 01:02:12,526 --> 01:02:14,612 She gets around. All right? 1217 01:02:16,113 --> 01:02:18,115 She does, does she? 1218 01:02:18,199 --> 01:02:20,326 Oh, yeah, like a record. 1219 01:02:23,204 --> 01:02:24,622 Like with who? 1220 01:02:24,705 --> 01:02:27,625 Oh, let's see, uh... 1221 01:02:27,708 --> 01:02:29,877 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1222 01:02:31,003 --> 01:02:32,713 Uh, let me see, who else? 1223 01:02:34,798 --> 01:02:35,966 Lumbergh? 1224 01:02:38,344 --> 01:02:40,679 What if you get caught? 1225 01:02:40,763 --> 01:02:43,974 Oh, I just don't know if this was such a good idea. 1226 01:02:44,058 --> 01:02:47,102 Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh. 1227 01:02:47,186 --> 01:02:48,521 What? 1228 01:02:48,604 --> 01:02:49,814 What are you... 1229 01:02:50,981 --> 01:02:52,942 Oh, right, Lumbergh. 1230 01:02:53,025 --> 01:02:54,485 Aah! 1231 01:02:54,568 --> 01:02:57,696 Oh... God... Lumbergh! 1232 01:02:57,780 --> 01:02:59,782 Peter, what is wrong with you? 1233 01:02:59,865 --> 01:03:01,575 That was, like, two years ago. 1234 01:03:01,659 --> 01:03:03,035 What? Did you know him? 1235 01:03:03,118 --> 01:03:04,703 Yeah, I know him. I know him. 1236 01:03:04,787 --> 01:03:06,080 He's my boss. 1237 01:03:06,163 --> 01:03:09,583 He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss. 1238 01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:11,710 Oh, he's not that disgusting. 1239 01:03:11,794 --> 01:03:15,005 He represents all that is soulless and wrong... 1240 01:03:15,089 --> 01:03:16,799 and you slept with him. 1241 01:03:16,882 --> 01:03:20,261 Hey, that is none of your business, OK? 1242 01:03:20,344 --> 01:03:23,180 I didn't ask you who you slept with before we were together. 1243 01:03:23,264 --> 01:03:24,431 I don't care. 1244 01:03:24,515 --> 01:03:26,600 I didn't think you slept with guys like Lumbergh! 1245 01:03:26,684 --> 01:03:28,853 Listen to you. 1246 01:03:28,936 --> 01:03:30,396 Who do you think you are? 1247 01:03:30,479 --> 01:03:32,982 How dare you judge me? 1248 01:03:33,065 --> 01:03:35,860 I mean, what are you? You think you're an angel? 1249 01:03:35,943 --> 01:03:38,654 No, you're just this penny-stealing... 1250 01:03:38,737 --> 01:03:41,407 wannabe criminal man. 1251 01:03:41,490 --> 01:03:43,159 Yeah, well, that may be. 1252 01:03:43,242 --> 01:03:45,703 But at least I never slept with Lumbergh. 1253 01:03:45,786 --> 01:03:47,079 OK, that's... I'm done. 1254 01:03:47,163 --> 01:03:50,416 I wanna get out of the car, OK? Stop. 1255 01:03:50,499 --> 01:03:52,293 Call me when you grow up. 1256 01:03:52,376 --> 01:03:54,545 Wait. That's probably never gonna happen. 1257 01:03:54,628 --> 01:03:55,754 So don't call me, OK? 1258 01:03:55,838 --> 01:03:58,048 Say hello to Lumbergh for me! 1259 01:04:04,972 --> 01:04:06,765 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1260 01:04:06,849 --> 01:04:08,392 Lumbergh fucked her. 1261 01:04:08,476 --> 01:04:10,644 Lumbergh fucked her. 1262 01:04:10,728 --> 01:04:12,646 That is great. 1263 01:04:12,730 --> 01:04:15,774 I mean, she was seeing the "Oh" face for sure. 1264 01:04:15,858 --> 01:04:19,612 Ohh, ohh, ohh. 1265 01:04:19,695 --> 01:04:21,280 Ooh. 1266 01:04:21,363 --> 01:04:23,991 If you could just move a little bit to the left. 1267 01:04:24,074 --> 01:04:26,452 That's it. Great. 1268 01:04:26,535 --> 01:04:28,662 Peter, what's happening? 1269 01:04:28,746 --> 01:04:33,626 Um, could you give me those T.P.S. reports ASAP, OK? 1270 01:04:33,709 --> 01:04:34,877 Oh! 1271 01:04:49,099 --> 01:04:50,684 - Joanna. - Yeah. 1272 01:04:51,268 --> 01:04:53,062 We need to talk. 1273 01:04:53,145 --> 01:04:55,022 Do you know what this is about? 1274 01:04:58,943 --> 01:05:00,611 My, uh, flair? 1275 01:05:00,694 --> 01:05:02,780 Yeah. 1276 01:05:02,863 --> 01:05:06,659 Or your lack of flair, because, uh... 1277 01:05:06,742 --> 01:05:09,119 I'm counting, and I only see fifteen pieces. 1278 01:05:09,203 --> 01:05:11,497 Let me ask you a question, Joanna. 1279 01:05:11,580 --> 01:05:15,709 What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum? 1280 01:05:17,253 --> 01:05:19,964 Huh, what do I think? Um, you know what, Stan... 1281 01:05:21,215 --> 01:05:24,260 if you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair... 1282 01:05:24,343 --> 01:05:26,637 like your, uh, pretty boy over there, Brian... 1283 01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,305 why don't you just make the minimum... 1284 01:05:28,389 --> 01:05:30,349 thirty-seven pieces of flair? 1285 01:05:30,432 --> 01:05:33,018 Well, I thought I remembered you saying... 1286 01:05:33,102 --> 01:05:35,312 that you wanted to express yourself. 1287 01:05:35,396 --> 01:05:37,356 Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I do. 1288 01:05:37,439 --> 01:05:39,900 I do want to express myself. 1289 01:05:39,984 --> 01:05:42,820 And I don't need thirty-seven pieces of flair to do it. 1290 01:05:44,363 --> 01:05:46,949 All right? There's my flair. OK? 1291 01:05:47,032 --> 01:05:51,328 And this is me expressing myself. OK? 1292 01:05:51,412 --> 01:05:53,122 There it is. 1293 01:05:53,205 --> 01:05:54,748 I hate this job. 1294 01:05:54,832 --> 01:05:57,501 I hate this goddamn job, and I don't need it. 1295 01:06:13,309 --> 01:06:14,393 Oh, shit. 1296 01:06:14,477 --> 01:06:16,061 - Shit. - Shit. 1297 01:06:16,145 --> 01:06:18,647 - Shit. - Son of a bitch. 1298 01:06:18,731 --> 01:06:21,442 - Shit. - This is a fuck. 1299 01:06:21,525 --> 01:06:22,610 I... I... Shit. 1300 01:06:22,693 --> 01:06:24,111 What happened? 1301 01:06:24,195 --> 01:06:26,363 You tell me, Michael! It's your software! 1302 01:06:26,447 --> 01:06:27,990 Yes, it's your software. 1303 01:06:28,073 --> 01:06:30,242 Corporate accounting is sure as hell gonna notice... 1304 01:06:30,326 --> 01:06:32,995 three hundred five thousand, three hundred... 1305 01:06:33,078 --> 01:06:36,290 twenty-six thirteen, Michael! 1306 01:06:36,373 --> 01:06:37,708 Oh, shit. 1307 01:06:37,791 --> 01:06:39,793 They probably won't know it's gone... 1308 01:06:39,877 --> 01:06:41,587 for another three or four days. 1309 01:06:41,670 --> 01:06:45,216 Michael! You said this thing was gonna take two years. 1310 01:06:45,299 --> 01:06:47,760 What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work! 1311 01:06:47,843 --> 01:06:49,094 Technically, it did work. 1312 01:06:49,178 --> 01:06:50,471 No, it didn't! 1313 01:06:50,554 --> 01:06:53,432 It did not work, Michael, OK? 1314 01:06:53,516 --> 01:06:55,100 OK. 1315 01:06:55,184 --> 01:06:58,312 I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. 1316 01:06:58,395 --> 01:07:00,940 I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail. 1317 01:07:01,023 --> 01:07:05,069 Oh! Well, this is not a mundane detail, Michael! 1318 01:07:05,152 --> 01:07:06,654 Quit getting pissed at me. 1319 01:07:06,737 --> 01:07:08,656 This was all your idea, asshole. 1320 01:07:09,907 --> 01:07:11,867 All right. OK. 1321 01:07:11,951 --> 01:07:14,453 Let's try not to get pissed off at each other. 1322 01:07:14,537 --> 01:07:17,039 Let's calm down, try to figure this thing out together. 1323 01:07:17,122 --> 01:07:20,793 We gotta close that account before it gets bigger. 1324 01:07:20,876 --> 01:07:25,047 Happy birthday to you 1325 01:07:25,130 --> 01:07:30,094 Happy birthday to you 1326 01:07:30,177 --> 01:07:35,766 Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh 1327 01:07:35,850 --> 01:07:39,979 Happy birthday to you 1328 01:07:44,275 --> 01:07:45,609 Looks terrific. 1329 01:07:45,693 --> 01:07:46,819 Mmm. 1330 01:07:46,902 --> 01:07:49,613 Here, Peg, you wanna get everybody started? 1331 01:07:52,867 --> 01:07:54,034 Mmm. 1332 01:07:54,118 --> 01:07:55,494 Oh, that is terrific. 1333 01:07:55,578 --> 01:07:56,871 Just terrific. 1334 01:07:56,954 --> 01:08:00,749 Thanks, everybody. I really, really appreciate it. 1335 01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:02,126 It's very special. 1336 01:08:02,209 --> 01:08:04,420 Now, Milton, don't be greedy. 1337 01:08:04,503 --> 01:08:07,756 Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. 1338 01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:10,926 But last time I didn't receive a piece and I was told... 1339 01:08:11,010 --> 01:08:12,511 Just pass. 1340 01:08:12,595 --> 01:08:17,808 OK, here. But this... 1341 01:08:19,393 --> 01:08:22,897 The cake... There's lots of cake? 1342 01:08:23,939 --> 01:08:26,942 The ratio of people to cake is too big. 1343 01:08:44,210 --> 01:08:46,921 I could set the building on fire. 1344 01:08:47,004 --> 01:08:51,091 Is there some way to just give the money back? 1345 01:08:51,175 --> 01:08:53,969 Hand them a cheque for the exact amount they're missing? 1346 01:08:54,053 --> 01:08:56,972 I... I think they'd figure that out. 1347 01:08:57,056 --> 01:08:59,308 Well, we have to do something. 1348 01:08:59,391 --> 01:09:01,393 Maybe we could launder the money. 1349 01:09:02,728 --> 01:09:04,688 That's a great idea. 1350 01:09:04,772 --> 01:09:05,815 OK, how do we do that? 1351 01:09:05,898 --> 01:09:07,608 I don't know. 1352 01:09:07,691 --> 01:09:09,360 I don't even know what it means. I was hoping you knew. 1353 01:09:09,443 --> 01:09:11,153 I think coke dealers do it. 1354 01:09:11,237 --> 01:09:13,823 OK, all right. Do we know any coke dealers? 1355 01:09:14,698 --> 01:09:16,200 My cousin's a cokehead. 1356 01:09:21,705 --> 01:09:23,249 Fuck. 1357 01:09:23,332 --> 01:09:24,583 We're in deep shit. 1358 01:09:24,667 --> 01:09:28,337 Yes, we are in very, very deep shit. 1359 01:09:33,342 --> 01:09:35,261 - Milton. - Yes. 1360 01:09:35,344 --> 01:09:36,512 What's happening? 1361 01:09:36,595 --> 01:09:39,098 Say, Milton, you know what'd be great? 1362 01:09:39,181 --> 01:09:40,266 But... no. 1363 01:09:40,349 --> 01:09:42,101 Since you're down here... 1364 01:09:42,184 --> 01:09:45,396 it would be really great if you could just sort of... 1365 01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:48,232 take care of the cockroach problem we've had in here. 1366 01:09:48,315 --> 01:09:51,318 That's really not my job, and I haven't received my paycheque... 1367 01:09:51,402 --> 01:09:53,195 For now, why don't you go ahead... 1368 01:09:53,279 --> 01:09:56,615 and get yourself a flashlight and a can of pesticide... 1369 01:09:56,699 --> 01:09:57,867 and crawl down... 1370 01:09:57,950 --> 01:10:00,369 Bill? We need you upstairs right away. 1371 01:10:00,452 --> 01:10:02,288 We got a big problem... big. 1372 01:10:02,371 --> 01:10:05,291 Some major glitch in accounting, a lot of money missing. 1373 01:10:10,504 --> 01:10:11,672 'Scuse me. 1374 01:10:13,507 --> 01:10:14,675 'Scuse me. 1375 01:10:17,344 --> 01:10:21,265 OK... but that's the last straw. 1376 01:10:21,348 --> 01:10:23,767 Here we go, here we go. 1377 01:10:23,851 --> 01:10:28,105 Uh, launder. "To clean," no. "To wash..." 1378 01:10:28,189 --> 01:10:31,400 "To conceal the source of money... 1379 01:10:31,484 --> 01:10:34,737 "as by channeling it through an intermediary." 1380 01:10:35,529 --> 01:10:36,906 "To conceal..." 1381 01:10:36,989 --> 01:10:39,450 That doesn't really help us, Michael. 1382 01:10:39,533 --> 01:10:41,243 I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. 1383 01:10:41,327 --> 01:10:43,454 We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary. 1384 01:10:43,537 --> 01:10:48,042 Yeah, well, you guys can both eat my ass, OK? 1385 01:10:48,125 --> 01:10:49,835 I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh. 1386 01:10:49,919 --> 01:10:51,086 That's what I can't believe. 1387 01:10:51,170 --> 01:10:54,131 - Yeah. You didn't know that? - Yeah, you didn't know that? 1388 01:10:54,215 --> 01:10:56,258 A couple of years ago, before he moved to Atlanta. 1389 01:10:58,719 --> 01:11:02,598 You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy? The young guy? 1390 01:11:02,681 --> 01:11:05,184 Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill? 1391 01:11:07,228 --> 01:11:10,064 Her fucking... Her children would have hooves. 1392 01:11:11,941 --> 01:11:13,609 Ron's not related to Bill, is he? 1393 01:11:15,069 --> 01:11:16,779 Who's that? 1394 01:11:17,780 --> 01:11:19,281 All right, nobody panic. 1395 01:11:19,365 --> 01:11:21,033 Probably just Lawrence. 1396 01:11:24,537 --> 01:11:26,288 Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. 1397 01:11:26,372 --> 01:11:27,873 I come from a rough area. 1398 01:11:27,957 --> 01:11:29,542 I used to be addicted to crack... 1399 01:11:29,625 --> 01:11:31,502 but now I'm off and trying to stay clean. 1400 01:11:31,585 --> 01:11:34,004 That is why I'm selling magazine subscriptions. 1401 01:11:34,088 --> 01:11:36,090 - No, no. - Wait a minute. 1402 01:11:36,173 --> 01:11:38,133 You used to be addicted to crack? 1403 01:11:39,385 --> 01:11:40,928 Yeah. Um... 1404 01:11:42,555 --> 01:11:44,682 Look, I'm very sorry. 1405 01:11:44,765 --> 01:11:47,268 I do not know anything about any money laundering. 1406 01:11:47,351 --> 01:11:49,770 We're not asking you about money laundering. 1407 01:11:49,854 --> 01:11:51,230 All we need is for you to hook us... 1408 01:11:51,313 --> 01:11:53,107 If he doesn't know anybody... 1409 01:11:53,190 --> 01:11:54,942 No. Wait a minute. 1410 01:11:55,025 --> 01:11:57,945 Look, you just give us the name of one drug dealer. 1411 01:11:58,028 --> 01:12:00,447 I could talk to him. I have good networking skill. 1412 01:12:00,531 --> 01:12:01,657 I lied. 1413 01:12:01,740 --> 01:12:04,785 All that stuff I said about being a crackhead... 1414 01:12:04,869 --> 01:12:07,288 just helps me sell magazines. 1415 01:12:07,371 --> 01:12:09,874 I'm actually an unemployed software engineer. 1416 01:12:13,669 --> 01:12:16,755 - You're a software engineer? - Yep. 1417 01:12:16,839 --> 01:12:19,383 Things, they must be very rough for you. 1418 01:12:19,466 --> 01:12:21,093 Actually, man... 1419 01:12:21,177 --> 01:12:23,179 I make more money selling magazine subscriptions... 1420 01:12:23,262 --> 01:12:24,722 than I ever did at Initrode. 1421 01:12:24,805 --> 01:12:26,932 Heh. At Initrode? 1422 01:12:27,016 --> 01:12:28,976 Wait a minute, you're not gonna tell anybody... 1423 01:12:29,059 --> 01:12:30,394 about all this stuff we told you. 1424 01:12:30,478 --> 01:12:33,689 I mean, we know a lot of the same people. That's... 1425 01:12:35,524 --> 01:12:38,194 Actually, um, that all depends. 1426 01:12:43,073 --> 01:12:46,160 What am I gonna do with forty subscriptions to "Vibe"? 1427 01:12:47,453 --> 01:12:48,537 We never should have done this. 1428 01:12:48,621 --> 01:12:50,456 What were we thinking? 1429 01:12:51,373 --> 01:12:52,458 You know what I can't figure out? 1430 01:12:52,541 --> 01:12:55,711 How is it that all these stupid Neanderthal Mafia guys... 1431 01:12:55,794 --> 01:12:57,171 can be so good at crime... 1432 01:12:57,254 --> 01:12:59,757 and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? 1433 01:12:59,840 --> 01:13:01,383 We're new to it, though. 1434 01:13:01,467 --> 01:13:03,969 If we had more experience... 1435 01:13:04,053 --> 01:13:07,431 No. You know what I think? I think we're screwed. 1436 01:13:07,515 --> 01:13:08,974 I think there's enough evidence... 1437 01:13:09,058 --> 01:13:11,101 all over that building to link us to this. 1438 01:13:11,185 --> 01:13:13,270 Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't want to. 1439 01:13:13,354 --> 01:13:14,939 What we've done is bad enough. 1440 01:13:15,022 --> 01:13:16,273 We get caught laundering money... 1441 01:13:16,357 --> 01:13:18,317 we're not going to white-collar resort prison. 1442 01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:21,320 No. We're going to federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1443 01:13:21,403 --> 01:13:23,447 I don't want to go to any prison. 1444 01:13:23,531 --> 01:13:25,783 Why the hell did I do this? 1445 01:13:25,866 --> 01:13:28,536 I've never done anything wrong in my whole life. 1446 01:13:28,619 --> 01:13:29,829 We weren't thinking clearly... 1447 01:13:29,912 --> 01:13:32,081 because you told us we were losing our jobs. 1448 01:13:32,164 --> 01:13:34,458 Now look at us, we're worried about going in a prison. 1449 01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,752 Don't worry about it. I'll think of something. 1450 01:13:38,462 --> 01:13:40,506 I'm going home. 1451 01:13:40,589 --> 01:13:41,757 Me, too. 1452 01:13:43,425 --> 01:13:47,596 You are a very... bad person, Peter. 1453 01:14:07,825 --> 01:14:09,201 Lawrence, you awake? 1454 01:14:09,285 --> 01:14:10,536 Yeah. 1455 01:14:12,288 --> 01:14:13,497 You wanna come over? 1456 01:14:13,581 --> 01:14:14,665 No, thanks, man. 1457 01:14:14,748 --> 01:14:16,959 I don't want you fucking up my life, too. 1458 01:14:22,506 --> 01:14:25,384 In light of the senselessness of these heinous crimes... 1459 01:14:25,467 --> 01:14:27,887 that you have committed against Initech... 1460 01:14:27,970 --> 01:14:30,973 I hereby sentence you, Michael Bolton... 1461 01:14:31,056 --> 01:14:35,895 and Samir Naan... Nanadajibad... 1462 01:14:35,978 --> 01:14:38,230 to a term of no less than four years... 1463 01:14:38,314 --> 01:14:41,901 in a federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1464 01:14:45,738 --> 01:14:47,531 Peter Gibbons... 1465 01:14:47,615 --> 01:14:50,367 you've led a trite and meaningless life... 1466 01:14:52,119 --> 01:14:55,039 and you're a very bad person. 1467 01:15:32,284 --> 01:15:33,452 Hey. 1468 01:15:34,870 --> 01:15:37,414 You're not working at Chotchkie's anymore, huh? 1469 01:15:37,498 --> 01:15:39,667 No, no. I got fired. 1470 01:15:40,459 --> 01:15:42,920 - What happened? - I flipped off my boss. 1471 01:15:43,003 --> 01:15:45,089 Some customers... 1472 01:15:45,172 --> 01:15:46,924 Actually, a line cook... 1473 01:15:47,007 --> 01:15:49,009 but he just happened to be standing there, so... 1474 01:15:50,302 --> 01:15:52,388 I might be going away for a while. 1475 01:15:52,471 --> 01:15:55,891 Uh... to jail. 1476 01:15:55,975 --> 01:15:57,893 You were right about that computer scam. 1477 01:15:57,977 --> 01:15:59,311 That was a bad idea. 1478 01:15:59,395 --> 01:16:01,981 I'm gonna take the blame for it, I decided. 1479 01:16:03,149 --> 01:16:05,401 I'm on my way now to return the money... 1480 01:16:05,484 --> 01:16:07,862 and leave the confession under Lumbergh's door. 1481 01:16:10,239 --> 01:16:11,490 Joanna, I want to apologize. 1482 01:16:11,574 --> 01:16:14,076 I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh. 1483 01:16:14,160 --> 01:16:15,744 Lumbergh is not my problem. 1484 01:16:15,828 --> 01:16:17,872 It wasn't even the right Lumbergh. 1485 01:16:17,955 --> 01:16:21,834 I don't know why I can't just... go to work and be happy... 1486 01:16:21,917 --> 01:16:24,336 like I'm supposed to, like everybody else. 1487 01:16:24,420 --> 01:16:26,589 Peter, most people don't like their jobs. 1488 01:16:26,672 --> 01:16:30,634 But you go out there and find something that makes you happy. 1489 01:16:30,718 --> 01:16:32,595 Yeah. Well... 1490 01:16:34,263 --> 01:16:36,307 I may never be happy at my job... 1491 01:16:36,390 --> 01:16:39,268 but I think that if I could be with you... 1492 01:16:39,351 --> 01:16:41,353 that I could be happy with my life. 1493 01:16:41,437 --> 01:16:43,439 I've been a real asshole. 1494 01:16:43,522 --> 01:16:46,609 But, if you'd give it another shot, I promise... 1495 01:16:46,692 --> 01:16:47,943 OK, shut up. 1496 01:16:52,364 --> 01:16:55,117 Whoa! Hey, what's going on here? 1497 01:16:55,201 --> 01:16:57,703 Get a room, you two! Ha ha! 1498 01:17:01,165 --> 01:17:03,250 I hate that guy. 1499 01:17:54,176 --> 01:17:56,262 Then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll... 1500 01:17:56,345 --> 01:17:58,931 and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh. 1501 01:17:59,014 --> 01:18:01,600 And I still haven't received my paycheque. 1502 01:18:01,684 --> 01:18:04,353 And he took my stapler, and he never brought it back. 1503 01:18:04,436 --> 01:18:06,772 And then they moved my desk to storage room "B." 1504 01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,691 And there was garbage on it, and... 1505 01:18:08,774 --> 01:18:11,277 Why don't you go back down and sit at your desk? 1506 01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:12,820 Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute. 1507 01:18:12,903 --> 01:18:16,115 - Mr. Lumbergh... - Just go sit at your desk. 1508 01:18:16,198 --> 01:18:18,659 OK. But, I... I'm gonna just... 1509 01:18:26,333 --> 01:18:28,169 I have to take my stapler back... 1510 01:18:28,252 --> 01:18:31,964 because I told him it's my stapler. 1511 01:18:36,844 --> 01:18:38,679 It's my stapler. 1512 01:18:38,762 --> 01:18:42,516 A Swingline, the brand I've been using for a long time. 1513 01:19:01,702 --> 01:19:03,037 Lawrence, you in there? 1514 01:19:04,872 --> 01:19:06,916 Whoa. Hey, Peter, man. 1515 01:19:06,999 --> 01:19:08,667 Hey. 1516 01:19:08,751 --> 01:19:10,961 So, I might be going away for a while. 1517 01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:12,963 Yeah, I know, man. 1518 01:19:13,047 --> 01:19:15,549 It's a bummer, dude. What can I say? 1519 01:19:15,633 --> 01:19:17,676 Yeah. Yeah. 1520 01:19:19,345 --> 01:19:22,848 Well, time to go face the music. 1521 01:19:22,932 --> 01:19:25,518 You take care of yourself if I don't see you, all right? 1522 01:19:25,601 --> 01:19:28,103 You too, man. Take her easy, bud. 1523 01:19:28,187 --> 01:19:29,647 All right. 1524 01:19:30,773 --> 01:19:32,149 Hey, Peter. 1525 01:19:32,233 --> 01:19:33,901 Yeah? 1526 01:19:35,027 --> 01:19:36,695 Watch out for your cornhole, bud. 1527 01:19:38,197 --> 01:19:39,615 OK, Lawrence. 1528 01:19:53,337 --> 01:19:55,840 Stay clear, now. Stay clear. 1529 01:19:55,923 --> 01:19:58,092 Holy shit. 1530 01:21:07,578 --> 01:21:10,331 Wait a minute. Let me take a look at that. 1531 01:21:11,165 --> 01:21:12,541 You don't want that, Peter, man. 1532 01:21:12,625 --> 01:21:14,001 That's toasted, man. 1533 01:21:14,084 --> 01:21:17,296 I think I know someone who might want this. 1534 01:21:28,599 --> 01:21:29,767 Hey, man. 1535 01:21:31,018 --> 01:21:32,812 Wanna go to lunch? 1536 01:21:33,562 --> 01:21:34,855 Brought mine in a pail... 1537 01:21:34,939 --> 01:21:37,525 plus Joanna's supposed to come by a little later. 1538 01:21:38,526 --> 01:21:40,945 How do you like your new job? 1539 01:21:41,028 --> 01:21:42,947 Not too bad, not too bad. 1540 01:21:43,030 --> 01:21:44,615 How's Penetrode? 1541 01:21:44,698 --> 01:21:46,325 Initrode. 1542 01:21:46,408 --> 01:21:47,701 They're all right. 1543 01:21:47,785 --> 01:21:49,119 It's work. 1544 01:21:49,203 --> 01:21:50,871 Yeah, yeah. 1545 01:21:50,955 --> 01:21:52,623 Probably get you a job there. 1546 01:21:52,706 --> 01:21:54,500 No, thanks. I, uh... 1547 01:21:54,583 --> 01:21:56,001 I'm doing good here. 1548 01:21:57,837 --> 01:22:01,674 So, uh... we're gonna be OK, right? 1549 01:22:01,757 --> 01:22:03,592 Yeah. 1550 01:22:04,510 --> 01:22:06,971 I think the fire pretty much took care of everything. 1551 01:22:07,054 --> 01:22:09,640 I wonder if the money burn up. 1552 01:22:09,723 --> 01:22:10,975 It would be shame. 1553 01:22:11,058 --> 01:22:12,434 Yeah. 1554 01:22:12,518 --> 01:22:15,396 So you sure you don't want us to get you a job? 1555 01:22:15,479 --> 01:22:18,774 That's one thing I'm definitely sure of. 1556 01:22:20,943 --> 01:22:22,820 All right, chief. 1557 01:22:22,903 --> 01:22:24,155 You guys take care, all right? 1558 01:22:24,238 --> 01:22:25,614 All right. 1559 01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:27,741 Stay in touch, man. 1560 01:22:27,825 --> 01:22:29,577 OK. Will do. 1561 01:22:33,789 --> 01:22:35,708 This isn't so bad, huh? 1562 01:22:36,876 --> 01:22:41,839 Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside. 1563 01:22:41,922 --> 01:22:43,716 Fuckin' "A." 1564 01:22:46,343 --> 01:22:48,095 Fuckin' "A." 1565 01:23:06,572 --> 01:23:08,782 Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. 1566 01:23:08,866 --> 01:23:10,743 May I speak to you, please? 1567 01:23:10,826 --> 01:23:13,412 I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada. 1568 01:23:13,496 --> 01:23:15,789 And I said no salt, no salt... 1569 01:23:15,873 --> 01:23:17,583 for the margarita, but it had salt on it. 1570 01:23:17,666 --> 01:23:20,252 Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo. 1571 01:23:20,336 --> 01:23:23,923 I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... 1572 01:23:24,006 --> 01:23:25,841 I could shut this whole resort down. 1573 01:23:25,925 --> 01:23:27,468 Sir? 1574 01:23:27,551 --> 01:23:32,014 I'll take my traveler's cheques to a competing resort. 1575 01:23:33,933 --> 01:23:36,435 I could write a letter to your board of tourism. 1576 01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:38,771 I could have this place condemned. 1577 01:23:38,854 --> 01:23:43,609 I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole. 1578 01:23:43,692 --> 01:23:46,237 There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt. 1579 01:24:01,168 --> 01:24:03,128 Give a ride on the old bone roller coaster. 1580 01:24:03,212 --> 01:24:05,256 Aaaah! 1581 01:24:19,854 --> 01:24:21,480 Don't come back in a dress, man. 1582 01:24:21,564 --> 01:24:23,774 Ha ha ha. You big fag. 1583 01:24:46,505 --> 01:24:47,756 I'm working at Hooters now, you know... 1584 01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:49,842 and it's very cool.